Tom Brown's Jest Book; Or, Companion to the Cloister, the Ne Plus Ultra of Every Thing Funny, Containing All His Comical and Humorous Stories, Curious Riddles

A maidenhead. TOM BROWN being at an assembly, was asked how he liked a young "lady that was dancing? and whose complexion was discernably her own manu- facture ? Really, sir, answered he, I am no connois- seur in painting. A young lady, who had been married about six months, asked Tom Brown if he would stand for her first child ? Madam, answered he, by the shortness of, your apron, I am very sure your first child has already been stood for. One of the Canons of St. Paul's being in compa- ny with some ladies, let fall his handkerchief, and in stooping to pick it up again, he happened^ to break wind backwards. Bless me, ladies ! cried out one of them, I believe 'tis his Majesty's birth- day, for I think I hear one of the cannons at St. James's. No, madam, answered another lady, then present, I am sure 'tis not so far off as St. James's, for I can smell the gunpowder. A2 Tom Brown, being in company with one Mr. Wake, and another gentleman, it happened that the former fell asleep ; which the Other .gentleman ob- serving, said, why, Tom, our friend is asleep. I'll lay you a guinea, cries Tom, that he is a Wake. Done, cries the Other. Well now, says Tom, I'll convince you that I have won the wager :—Don't you know, that his grandfather was a Wake, and his father was a Wake ? and certainly he must be a Wake, even though he is fast asleep: therefore I have won the wager