Learn to be Happy

We all know whether we are happy or not. If you are looking for a book on happiness, you are likely to be unhappy. Drinks and drugs will make things worse. If we want to be happy, we have to learn how to be happy.

Happiness does not mean total absence of pain, sorrow, or disappointment. One cannot be happy and stress free 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 52 weeks a year. There will be moments of sadness, of despair, of pain and anxiety. But scars heal with time. Those who seek happiness learn to treat the wounds of mind more quickly than others.

The sources of happiness or unhappiness are self, parents, spouse, children and the environment. We ourselves are the most important source of happiness or unhappiness. We are largely responsible for our successes or failures in life.

Spouse is perhaps the second most important source of happiness and unhappiness. Marriage is a 24 x 7 relationship. Marriage is bliss when the spouse is loving, understanding, caring and supportive. Marriage can be hell if the spouse is short tempered, selfish, nagging, scheming, uncaring, demanding egoist and unfaithful.

Parents are a source of happiness when there is a strong bond of love with them. Parents are a source of unhappiness when there is no bond of love and when they are critical, nagging, complaining and unreasonably demanding. They can also be a source of unhappiness when they are physically unwell.

Children are a source of happiness when they are loving, caring, happy, healthy and successful. They can be a source of unhappiness when they are the opposite. They are a major source of stress when they are in trouble through dishonorable or criminal acts and when they keep on demanding financial support.

Environment also contributes to our happiness or unhappiness. The environment embraces everything around us. Environment is not in our control and we need to be patient and tolerant when dealing with environmental problems.

To be happy one needs to understand the difference between pleasure and happiness. The pleasure of fine dining or sex may last for a few hours. An ice cream or an orgasm will last only a few minutes. Happiness lasts a lifetime for those who have learnt to be happy.

This book is in two parts. Part 1 deals with: “Improving Our Understanding of Life”. Before we act in quest of happiness, we need to understand why we need to act in a particular way or do certain things. We need to understand why we react to certain situations in a particular way. We need to understand why we fail to be in harmony with our environment. We need to understand why other people behave with us in a particular way. Thus, before we act in search of happiness, we need to understand certain fundamentals of life. These fundamentals are almost like the laws of nature or of science. If we ignore these fundamentals, the chances are that we will act in defiance of these laws and thus never fully enjoy happiness.

Part 2: deals with “Changing our Attitude”. To be happy we have to act. It is said, “God helps those who help themselves.” It is therefore implied that even God cannot help those who are not willing to act to help themselves. Thus, if we want to be happy, we must act and remove obstacles to happiness. We must change our attitude and our approach to life. This part recommends 25 steps to take you to your goal of happiness. You may have already taken some of them. You can skip those which you have already taken. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to happiness.

In conclusion we must remember that we do not control our destinies. We will suffer pain and feel grief. Whether we can overcome our pain and grief and be happy depends on the strength of our character and our submission to the will of God. This book is for all those who are not satisfied with their lives and want to lead a more enjoyable life. The book is especially for college going teens and young adults who are starting on the journey of life.