The Mystique to the Game of Life (and Unrequited Love)

Have you ever loved someone so dearly and have had that love not returned? (The other person shares everything apart from their love. They refuse to surrender themselves to the process of entering into a loving relationship; the love, (self-) trust, courage, freedom, choice and commitment that a loving relationship requires. They deny emotional intimacy; they put up a shield to protect themselves from the deep hurt that loving relationships can sometimes bring.)
Have you ever felt sick to the stomach over unrequited love?
Have you ever yearned in your heart or loins for someone when your head is telling you...
“This is absolutely the wrong partner for you”?
“Bottom line, she/he just doesn’t fancy you”?
“You and him/her, it’s never going to happen”?
Or something like
“She/he simply doesn’t love you the way you love her/him”?
Your head judges, your loins desire sexual fulfilment and your heart seeks to share love. I call this the Head, Heart and Loins dynamics of a relationship. When all three are aligned, within and between partners, their relationship is probably in good shape to meet the outcomes they seek. (The same holds true for a personal friendship whether there is a sexual element to that friendship or not.) I speak neither of good nor bad, nor moralise. I speak of the process of achieving a higher purpose, you set for yourself, through the journey to the goals you set for the relationship, be those goals profound or for short term recreation.
Your higher purpose is not the goals you set, it is the journey you complete to become your true nature, the journey to love, self-love, oneness, completeness.
Your journey to self-love involves the removal off all anger, hurt, shame and fear about the past and future. It implies living mindfully in the present moment (by moment), the present tense.
A loving relationship with that someone special in your life can delight and traumatise your emotions. This booklet contains a series of exercises to take you on a mindful journey, read its route map and practise ancient wisdom. Within you’ll learn about...
- The journey to understand and fulfil the higher purpose of a relationship - to help you and your partner to journey to self-love so that you can love one another.
You cannot give to anyone that which you do not give to yourself first
- The nature of outcomes (or goals) you and your partner (or friend) set for yourselves.
- The difference between your purpose and goals for a relationship - and they are very different, in context and value.
- How when your emotions are tested to the limit, the path to success requires that you stay mindful of your purpose and let go of the outcomes you seek, moment by moment - mindfulness.
Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.
Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness, sometimes referred to as being present in the moment, is the process of creating love, enthusiasm, compassion, patience and completeness in the moment (by moment) - regardless of whether these vibrations are returned or not. It takes mindfulness to fulfil a relationship’s true purpose, which curiously can be achieved whether the goals are achieved or not.
For example, in movies and songs I’ve heard the phrase, “You complete me”. Well if someone’s purpose is to become complete and they set a goal to find someone who completes them - what happens should they achieve completeness? They no longer need that someone else for the purpose of completeness.
Other people don’t complete you. You find ‘completeness’ through the journey to ‘completeness’; you find ‘oneness’.
Mindfulness is the vehicle by which to travel the journey.