What Really Happened?

This compendium has been painstaking assembled from pouring over recently discovered "historical" accounts; academic texts; personal diaries; time capsules; sketches and engravings; ancient cocktail napkins; extraterrestrial alien artifacts; and old smelly boots. (Please, don't ask about that last one. We're still trying to recover.)

To summarize -- Basically, the material in this collection has been gleaned from IMPORTANT STUFF. Important OLD stuff. In fact, the sources are SO old in some cases, we even had to sift through 8-tracks, 5-1/4 floppies, and Betamax tapes. (Video was grainy and even black & white sometimes. Oh, the horror.)

A special message... if you happen to be one of those STUFFY historians that have been harassing us recently; complaining that the facts we've presented are outrageous, untrue, exaggerated, or even simply made up, please go away.

Otherwise, if you're in the mood for a humorous take on history, then this book is just the thing you need. Buy it and read it now and help us to disseminate the TRUTH about What Really Happened?

Inside you'll find twenty-five (25) distinct essays covering topics such as:
-- Julius Caesar's holiday travels
-- Ben Franklin's quest to sway the U.S. Congress to pass legislation benefitting his family
-- Inside look at British battle planning for the World War 1 battle at Ypres.
-- Exposé on the life and personality of Ogedei Khan
-- Insight into previously unknown factors explaining the motivation of John Wilkes Booth in his assassination of Abraham Lincoln
-- First person account of the Storming of the Bastille
-- Evidence against Catherine Parr revealing a shocking conspiracy in the death of King Henry VIII
-- Einstein's less well-known (but amazingly accurate) "Theory of Matrimony"
-- Final box score, highlights, and recap of the 1066 battle at Stamford Bridge
-- Survivor journal entries regarding who and what was onboard the Lusitania before she sank
-- True cause of the Satsuma Rebellion
-- Life and times of John Brown, revolutionary abolitionist & music industry visionary
-- Proof that English civil wars have been primarily motivated by various and sundry fashionable headwear
-- An accounting of what Ponce De Leon did AFTER DISCOVERING AMERICA (yep, you heard it right)
-- Diary of explorer James Cook
-- Julius Caesar, Part II, on his success as an entertainer and building an empire
-- Explanation of exactly how Sabina's Wall (aka Hadrian's Wall) came into existence
-- Self-evident truth of how Thomas Jefferson came up with the Declaration of Independence
-- Play-by-play account of the Boston Tea Party
-- Malleus Malefecarum, light reading material before bed
-- Richard's Third Crusade
-- Origin of how humans came to drink cow's milk
-- A look inside the "Tournament Scene" for Knights of the 12th century
-- How the Wright brothers really managed to take flight

Quotes from the book:

"I sometimes wonder though if the Celts might not achieve more meaningful work if they occasionally took some time off from fighting their ancient enemy, the Celts."

"It occurred to Jean-Phillipe at about the point that shrugs were a very imprecise method of communication, even for the French."

"She sent you into a horde notorious for its raping and pillaging in an effort to keep you out of trouble?"

"When one applies my previous theories on relativity to ... a woman's demands for light-speed satisfaction, we find ... it is impossible for ... a man to do it."

Don't take our word on how great this book is.... Here are impartial reviewers' quotes we paid for:

"I've never seen anything like this."
"This work is simply indescribable."
"I can't believe what I'm reading."
"It's apparent from this book, that the authors are special."
"It has a beat you can dance to. Sorry, what was I reviewing again?"

So, buy it now!