Ugly Love

A Survivor’s Story of Narcissistic Abuse

Have you ever felt like a normal discussion turns into him raging at you, while you cower in the corner, not certain what just happened to set him off? Have you felt like you would be punished if you stand up for yourself? Have you ever been told you are imagining things and everyone thinks you're crazy? Have you been told no one else could ever love you? Have you been led to believe this is all your fault? If you feel like you are living a fairy tale turned nightmare, then you may be a victim of narcissistic abuse. Abusive relationships with a narcissist follow a specific pattern. There's the initial stage of love bombing, where he's prince charming and you are his princess and soulmate. Then, the debasement starts. The rules start changing. Just when you think you know what he wants, the standards change again. Then he isolates you. You aren't allowed to see family and friends. If you do, you are punished with silence or rancid accusations. Then, there's the escalation of conversations into turbulent arguments, only for him to apologize and start the cycle all over again. If you feel hopeless, don't. There is a way out, and your exit plan begins with understanding what you are going through and how you ended up there. Narcissism is a spectrum disorder. A person can exhibit a few symptoms of being a narcissist, or enough traits to be diagnosed with the full blown narcissistic personality disorder. There's ambivalence on the part of psychologists and other experts on whether a narcissist can change. So, what do you do? Do you stay or do you go? Can your partner be the one who changes? Laura Charanza is a survivor of forty years of narcissistic abuse. Laura has worked with psychologists, physicians, life coaches and spiritual healers to understand narcissism and a narcissist's victims. With empathy and transparency, l Laura tells, first hand, the story of a typical and toxic relationship with a narcissist. But understand that there is a way out, and here is where your journey to freedom, peace and true love can begin