The Sex Lives of Misfits

I've been a bartender for more than thirty years in Norway, England, Dominican Republic, the U.S, and on various planets in the Milky Way galaxy. Before that, I was employed on various cruise lines, cut meat at a slaughter factory, worked as a newspaper boy, a petrol pump attendant, a waiter, a fluffer for the porn industry, and worked for several mentally insane restaurant & bar owners--some from outside our solar system. I began writing as a release valve from the insanity of bartending and watching people sit at the bar and speak to their pets in baby talk. My writings have been a source of mild amusement for family, friends, and customers too lazy to walk down the street and purchase a newspaper. I've also written for mentally challenged friends, fellow slackers, and compulsive losers seeking help in securing employment through fabricating tall tales on their resumes.

You can find out more about me by visiting me in jail, or from watching America's Dumbest Criminals TV show.

Bartending and mowing grass is what I do for a living, but it’s not who I am.

Frank