The Life And Deaths Of Theodore Platt

Fiction & Literature, Humorous
Cover of the book The Life And Deaths Of Theodore Platt by Sebastian H. Alive, Sebastian H. Alive
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Author: Sebastian H. Alive ISBN: 9781301428564
Publisher: Sebastian H. Alive Publication: September 30, 2013
Imprint: Smashwords Edition Language: English
Author: Sebastian H. Alive
ISBN: 9781301428564
Publisher: Sebastian H. Alive
Publication: September 30, 2013
Imprint: Smashwords Edition
Language: English

The life and deaths of Theodore Platt

In life there are those who are ‘winners’ and there are those who are ‘losers’. Theodore Platt is most definitely a loser. The circumstances of his whole life had groomed him into an existence of sad non-existence cumulating into one giant life of loserdom. One fateful morning Theodore accidentally kills himself while getting out of the bath. In hindsight having a non-slip bath mat could have prevented this. He finds himself in Purgatory to face the charges brought against him for his accumulation of sins throughout his life. Forced to sign a contract by his miserable moaning Purgatory advisor Rupert, who is a cherub with the delightful comb-over, he must meet the terms and conditions in full before being considered entry into Glorious Heaven.

The contractual stipulation as set out by God (and there is no heavenly ombudsman) states that he, the sinfully damned, has to kill himself every day at precisely 3:00pm until otherwise stated and only when God is satisfied he has been purified of his venial sins will he be judged worthy of ascension. Failure to do so would mean the full wrath of God would be revealed.

So Theodore returns to his menial apartment where he exists in a state of existence outside of normal life until purged of sins, forced to come up with the best self-inflicted deaths and sometimes the most creative and innovative ways of committing daily suicide in such a short window of time.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

The life and deaths of Theodore Platt

In life there are those who are ‘winners’ and there are those who are ‘losers’. Theodore Platt is most definitely a loser. The circumstances of his whole life had groomed him into an existence of sad non-existence cumulating into one giant life of loserdom. One fateful morning Theodore accidentally kills himself while getting out of the bath. In hindsight having a non-slip bath mat could have prevented this. He finds himself in Purgatory to face the charges brought against him for his accumulation of sins throughout his life. Forced to sign a contract by his miserable moaning Purgatory advisor Rupert, who is a cherub with the delightful comb-over, he must meet the terms and conditions in full before being considered entry into Glorious Heaven.

The contractual stipulation as set out by God (and there is no heavenly ombudsman) states that he, the sinfully damned, has to kill himself every day at precisely 3:00pm until otherwise stated and only when God is satisfied he has been purified of his venial sins will he be judged worthy of ascension. Failure to do so would mean the full wrath of God would be revealed.

So Theodore returns to his menial apartment where he exists in a state of existence outside of normal life until purged of sins, forced to come up with the best self-inflicted deaths and sometimes the most creative and innovative ways of committing daily suicide in such a short window of time.

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