Shattered Memories

Lost but Not Forgotten

My story reflects times of pain, sorrow, happiness, all wrapped into one life. This story tells the true story of myself as a little girl that had to grow up to learn early in life the role of an adult; putting the dolls away replacing them with high heels I had to become a mother and father in order to survive in a world that had no mercy. I put my life on hold to care for a mom, two brothers, and a sister to keep them safe. I lived a life full of turmoil, neglect, abuse, molestation, trials and many tribulations and having to feed, clothe and care for my family for many years; until one day I was relieved and giving a chance to be a child from the help of my grandparents. This was indeed a dream I longed to see for many years, I finally had the chance to enjoy life to the fullest. Before, I let my guards down only to let other people disrupt and destroy my long awaited joy and in the mist of all this I had to endure the death of my grandparents and siblings. One day I could not fight any longer. I had been married twice suffering both physical and mental abuse in my relationships ultimately sending me into a mental institution. I strived to make what was left of my life complete; everything and anything I tried to do became a disaster often I wanted to just give up I kept hoping, praying, working, and caring for my (now very ill) mother I was always there for my children. I still struggle day to day forcing a grim smile knowing the mistakes I made in life were to be corrected and not repeated. I had to learn the hard way and now I suffer at the cost. One day I hope to erase the mess I have made of my life by reversing my mistakes made in the past. I realized I am in control and others are not I am stronger and braver because of my turbulent times. I stand now to be heard and not to be silent. I have spared many of my feelings only to be left alone with a broken heart. Now its my turn to stand my ground there will be no more excuses for crushing my heart wondering why me? I will smile and enjoy life as the ones who caused me pain. I will laugh and I will smile only this time I know its real. I realize all things were not the cause of me now; but were forced on me through others I am not one of great importance or do I have name embedded in Hollywood square. But, through reading my story you may find your life become a wasted one. You hold the power of your life take it and enjoy all the worlds pleasures!