Rude!

Socially Inconsiderate Behavior: What It Is, What Contributes To It, and What We Can Do About It

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST PLAIN RUDE!

We're constantly confronted by the rude behavior of others. It's a universal problem and it's getting harder to ignore. Here are just a few examples of the problem:

• "Neighbors from hell" who generate an endless amount of noise
• Cell phone conversations (especially loud and lengthy ones) in inappropriate contexts
• People who fail to pick up after their dogs and let them bark non-stop
• The messes and garbage left behind by others in public spaces
• People who seem to apply personal fragrances with fire hoses
• Selfish, careless, or aggressive drivers
• People who use their power or status to treat others like garbage

The list goes on and on. What types of rude behaviors frustrate you the most in social situations? Some people may say that you're being too sensitive or unreasonable. If you disagree (and I hope that's the case), then read on.

THE SCOURGE OF BAD MANNERS AND RUDE BEHAVIOR

Many people might think that the rude and unwelcome behavior of others is simply a minor, unavoidable, and unfortunate price that we have to pay given that we're social creatures. I would argue quite the opposite. I suggest that the problem of rude behavior is extremely serious and not something that we should just take in stride. If you're skeptical and you think I'm overstating the significance of the problem of rude behavior, then let me ask you to consider a few questions. Over the course of human history:

• How many times have humans endured the rude behavior of others, and how much human suffering (ranging from mile irritation to extreme mental, emotional, and physical distress) has been inflicted on those offended by the socially inconsiderate actions of others?
• How many times have people responded to the socially inconsiderate actions of others in unsuitable, unproductive, and unjustified ways (e.g., with animosity, aggression, and even bloodshed), and how many times have individuals and public/private agencies had to waste their resources (e.g., their time, energy, finances) in an effort to address the socially inconsiderate actions of others - and at what cost?
• How much of this negativity, suffering, and destruction has been unnecessary and potentially avoidable to varying degrees?

I would hope that these simple questions lead you to sonder why we don't take the problem of rude behavior more seriously, and to marvel at our complacency when it comes to dealing with the bad manners, lack of etiquette, and social inadequacies of others.

HOW THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU

If you're even remotely interested in the topic of bad manners and rude behavior, you'll enjoy reading this book for a few key reasons:

• You're bound to enjoy reading the numerous examples of rude behavior in the first section of the book. In fact, you'll probably find yourself laughing out loud at some of the examples, and shaking your head in utter disbelief at others.
• You'll learn more about the conditions that lead to breakdowns in social etiquette. These conditions are actually very straightforward and easy to understand.
• This book will provide you with general ideas about how we might attack the problem of rude behavior. Guidelines are offered to help minimize the emergence of unwelcomed behavior in many different contexts.

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

If you pause for a moment and  think about specific examples of the rude and inconsiderate behaviors of others that bother you the most, you may find yourself feeling frustrated and angry. Further, if you've ever had to endure the socially inconsiderate  behavior of others for prolonged periods of time (e.g., dealing with "neighbors from hell"), you may have even started to feel overwhelmed, depressed, helpless, and even desperate. If you have experienced these emotions, I want you to know that I empathize with you completely! It's feelings like these that compelled me to write this book. On the bright side, it's possible for us to better understand the factors that lead to rude behavior, and to take steps to minimize it. So let's get started!