Redcoat Captain: A Story of That Country

Then Tiny came upon his toes very merry to the place where the Fellows fed between sleeps. And it was a great sort of shed under a thatch, with walls of whitewash sploshed with blood to encourage them on. And when Tiny got there they were all feeding and complaining about A B C and D, which you have to pass for promotion in That Army. For it appeared that the Commander-in-Chief at the Castle had just sent over word by Cooey, the carrier-pigeon, to say that they must all learn down to E now, or leave That Country. And he said it was because that was what they did in Willie-Land; but they said it was because of spite. For it was well known that the Commander-in-Chief's great ambition was a ride on Goliath. And the night before he had come and tried to climb on by stealth while Goly slept. But old Goly woke up in the middle and trod on his toe instead. So the Commander-in-Chief had limped back to the Castle with his hump up. And because he had a curiously nasty nature, and bore malice a lot, he now sent word by Cooey to say that they must choose between E and exile. And it is usually considered the greatest misery that can happen to you to be sent out of That Country. For That Country is the Land-where-you-never-grow-old—so long, that is, as you are good and loving. Indeed, if you live truly, you grow younger all the time, although your hair turns grey just the same as in Abroad. And when you are so young and so happy that you can bear it no more, then you die. But directly you begin to go bad, you grow old. And then the right place for you is Abroad, where all the common people live, and grow horrider and horrider every day, and never die. So naturally everybody born in That Country wants to live there all the time, except when they have to go away to Moonland for one month after marriage: for that is one of the rules. But if you are not good and loving, then they turn you out, when they find out about you, which they very often don't for a long time, because they are so sweet and simple. And you are supposed to hate nobody in That Country; but if you do, then you try to sort of cuckoo him out by working under him with your wings. And that was what the Commander-in-Chief, sitting in the Castle-tower, with his toe in a bandage, plotted in his own secret mind to do to the Regiment, because of Goliath. For the Commander-in-Chief was a real villain, and already growing old.