Mountain of the Seven Caves

Ten-year-old Douglas Gorman witnessed his father’s murder on top of an Aztec ruin in the Mexican jungle. Twenty years later, he’s a tanned, green-eyed woman’s dream and owner of an exotic imports company in New York City. Above all, he’s the tortured son struggling to understand why his father had to die. Bertie Worthington, a flamboyant giant of a woman with mammalian marvels, electric orange hairand bulbous blue eyes, tells Doug that her husband died on top of that same ruin, and urges him to ‘set things straight’.
Armed with new information about a hieroglyph that Bertie’s husband was after, Doug sets out for Mexico. With him is Winston, his godfather and retired World War II flying ace, and Angela B. for ‘Bullseye’ Scott, the only beautiful woman at Gorman Imports who rejects his advances. Turns out she’s a crossbow expert and has a PhD in Pre-Columbian Studies, no easy mark when it comes to Doug’s growing interest in her. Along the way, they pick up Willy, a student of Mexico’s ancient history and a part-time tour guide. Together, the foursome embarks on a long, perilous journey that takes them far beyond the hieroglyph.
Complicating their quest, two lecherous Texans whose drool flows at the sight of Angela pop up in the strangest of places. (“Looky here, Dwaynie Boy,” Burns says, “ain’t that the filly we saw at the airport?”) Bertie, too, appears and reappears, affirming Doug’s suspicions she may know more than she has revealed to him. (“Dirk!” she screams, never getting his name right, and squeezes his cheeks until his lip curls up to his nose. “Did you get the rubbing?”) And then there’s the ever-present threat of Yanco and his Brotherhood, first seen twenty years ago on that galvanizing, fatal day on the ruin.