Mental and Emotional Karate

Bullying has become a major issue for young people. There is a lot of it going on, and as news reports remind us periodically, it can have disastrous consequences for some young people.

Schools plead with students to not bully their classmates because it can hurt their feelings and end up tragically. The second part of that plea is true. It can end tragically, and unfortunately, sometimes does. However, the first part is a lie and inadvertently and unintentionally makes those being bullied into victims, and puts them at the seeming mercy of their tormentors.

No one can hurt our feelings. That's semantic and scientific nonsense. The truth is that it's what we choose to think about others and what they say or do that really determines how we feel. It's not what they say or do. If we choose to think or look at what others say and do in a way that causes us to end up feeling hurt, that's understandable. People do it all the time. It's part of being human. However, we can learn to choose to think differently and better, in a way that gives us a proverbial suit of armor against any and all verbal attacks.

Like Tony Stark in Iron Man, we can build a suit of armor and a source of real power rather than hide in a cave fearing our tormentors will come back for us soon. We can learn the equivalent of mental and emotional karate, deflecting verbal blows others try to land on us.

We can learn to keep others out of our head, just like Dr. Victor Frankl kept the Nazis out of his head. Dr. Frankl showed us the way when he made his famous comment, "Everything can be taken from us but the last of human freedoms. To choose one's own attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one's own way".

Many of us also learned that lesson as children, often without realizing it, when we would keep repeating, "I know you are but what am I?", or "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me" when other kids called us names. That's not something that makes sense for older kids or adults to say out loud, but it does show us how we can protect ourselves.

There are certain ways we can think or look at things, and things we can tell ourselves or even say out loud, that will protect us from the comments of others. As long as we stick with those thoughts and comments, we'll be protected. However, if we for even a moment instead think "How dare you say that about me?" that protection vanishes.

The defensive weapons I will give you in this book are largely from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and Education developed by the late Dr. Albert Ellis. They will give you the real power to be able to choose how you are going to feel about yourself or anything else, regardless of what others might say or do. I will teach you how not to get "hooked" by others comments, and how to not be their victim. And if others want to see you feel bad, I will give you the ability to get even by choosing to feel good, and the way you want instead of the way they want you to. Most of all, I'll teach you how to be smarter than the vast majority of people walking the planet, in some very simple but important ways.

People have more power to determine how they feel about themselves and their lives than most people realize, or give themselves credit for. Most people routinely give that power away to others, and events in their lives, without even realizing it. I will teach you how to stop giving it away, and keep it for yourself. That is, if you'll let me.

I'm living proof that all I've said is possible. Allow me to show you how to make it come to pass in your life.