Jayne’S Life Sentence

I was born in Londonderry/Derry, into an impovrished mixed religion family during Northern Ireland's troubles. Unlike a lot of tragic characters I was never deeply affected by the countries war ravished casualties. My childhood was set against the backdrop of two aggressive and violent alcoholic parents who loved to end a weekened with an alcohol fuelled, violent domestic. Despite this weekly occurrance, I was a relatively stable and content child who feasted upon the the love given to me by my maternal granny and aunt. It was only at the tender age of 6, that my life became engulfed in fear, shock, denial, betrayal and physical and mental anguish. My childhood folly was now replaced with being raped and abused whilst struggling not to give into the lure of suicide. I placed my blind faith or desperate hope in the idea that God had a plan for me and that my life would be enjoyable, someday! That day came when I met Philip. My life pivoted towards a new direction at that time and although my struggles are daily I can at last feel supported by my family and by God. My story unfortunately will strike a chord with too many, and in contrast shock and disgust those previously untainted by sexual abuse. I now continue along my path towards happiness and the feeling of inclusion in my own life, rather than as an onlooker or passive bystander. With God's help I will continue along life's journey. At this time I have neither the confidence nor strength to put a recent photograph of myself within the book as I still hold a great deal of shame and embarrassment. I hope readers and others in my position will allow for my weaknesses.