In This Vast Sea of Stars

So often in my life I’ve felt lost, alone, at the mercy of huge and powerful forces. The universe was hostile, dangerous, vast and complex. I frequently felt helpless, depressed, fragile, and ultimately out of control.

One night I was camping out, lying on the grass in total darkness in a remote mountain area. The stars were out with no city lights blotting their brilliance. My friend showed me how to use his binoculars to see the Andromeda Galaxy. Even with the powerful magnification, the cluster looked small, but it had the distinct and recognizable shape of a spiral galaxy. Everywhere I looked millions of stars scattered across the sky, and they seemed to go on forever. I was overcome by an acute awareness of just how vast and magnificent is our universe, peering out at a fraction, realizing how small I am.

At age 44 I was introduced to spirituality and began to slowly embrace a genuine relationship with a power greater than myself. Since then I have grown to rely on this power to help me in every aspect of my life. I no longer feel so small and alone.

Now, at age 62, I am present this book of poetry and art with -- I believe -- God’s help. This collection of poems touches on my feelings of being on a puny planet, endlessly orbiting a rather average-sized star. I am not alone and will not be at the mercy of hostile forces that torture and destroy. There is reason to have faith in the spiritual essence of the universe - call it God or whatever power you perceive. We are here for a purpose, which is the beautiful and terrifying divine mystery of life. May I live it well and may these poems strike resonant chords in your own life.

IN THIS VAST SEA OF STARS
We are visitors here in our bodies
Little boats living in this vast sea of stars
Peering out into a tiny fraction of the whole
Billions and trillions of brightly glowing suns

Each so distant they appear as small white lights
Coalescing in countless galaxies spinning on their
Endless unfathomable journeys
We circling one bright yellow star in our Milky Way

On a little blue, green, and white world
Some say we are the only intelligent life
I am certain we are as common as grains of sand
In the waters of the broad oceans of earth

The universe - bigger and more awesome
than any of us can ever imagine

It offers me solace
To be one infinitesimal part of the whole,
Reaching out to the Creator of this vast sea of stars

Why?

picture the instability of a galaxy spinning
with millions of star systems pushing and pulling in
all directions

take the shortcut home right before dawn
after driving all night
pull over and look at the stars
close my eyes and relax
sometimes 5 minutes of sleep saves lives

ask yourself “why am I alive?”
“in this body”
“on this planet”
”in this galaxy”
“at this time”
“Why me?”

and open your eyes
imagine all
the
possibilities

To Cleave

So much touch. It hurts.
Bending in. Stars surrounded by black space.

The soul I had, once abandoned, now
alive again, straining to be heard. To feel a
valued part of something larger. Seeking to let God in.

The flesh with its concerns. The friend of hers
dying. The cancer, slowed, sped up, an operation
to cut it out, followed by a massive stroke. He hovers
on the edge of his abyss. She cries. I am alert
to it. The world ends now.

My disease communicates within. Hating
itself for what it is, living inside as long as I go on.
Surviving though I do not feed it what it says it needs.
Even this part of me suffers when it gets what it
wants of me.
I cannot win.

You will lose even me. It is the nature of
things to come.

Good and bad in you. And me. It is not what
we touch so much as how we cleave. Do we feel what
it is I see? And what of Arthur’s death? Pending. The
nature of the beast.