Everything I Ever Wrote- Volume 1: The Funny Stuff

I’ve written more than 5 million words in newspapers, magazines and in books. Here are the funniest 27,518 of these words, including the best Grandmomisms, sheering a sheep, how to survive a goose attack, my day on the set of Men in Black 2, advice for banana-incompatible couples, what women – and even men – really want, the one-hour Smithsonian, lots of Seinfeld references, the mystery of duvet covers, wedding-band inscriptions and why women weep when they buy jeans. Plus a lot more stuff about me. As an added bonus, this book also includes several really cool photos taken by my wife, Susan. Some of these photos actually go with the chapters they illustrate, while others have nothing to do with them at all. So don’t try and look for hidden meanings that aren’t there. Unless – of course - you want to.