Everyone's Vegetarian

Imagine a world where animals never existed. Would Europeans have taken over America without plague-carrying rats? Without disease-spreading mosquitoes, would America have ever stopped using indentured servants instead of malaria-resistant slaves from Africa? If the conquistadors didn't have horses, isn't it possible we might be able to pop into an Aztec pub for a shot of fermented cactus pulp after work?

And what about all the great minds of history who were inspired by animals? Without birds, the Wright brothers wound up working in I.T. Without a meat industry to expose, Upton Sinclair wound up writing feel-good pabulum for a P.R. department. And without mice to inspire his signature creation, Walt Disney wound up as a bored call-center employee passing the time making notebook doodles.

Now imagine if – on July 4, 2020 – all the animals finally arrived.

Still dizzy from the Internet revolution, globalization, and a decade of mysterious plant mutations that triggered a worldwide recession, now the people of Earth have to deal with an even bigger disruption. Some people respond with fear and suspicion, running away from moths and crickets like they’re alien invaders. Others think their new neighbors are a gift from God and get eaten by crocodiles. And – as always – the masters of the universe ask how all this will affect the bottom line. At the insistence of a chronologically displaced Sacagawea, the cutthroat CEO of a processed food empire teams up with a crafty blue blood whose family has manufactured luxury foods from human remains for generations. Together, the three venture off into this strange new frontier and launch a campaign to accomplish the unthinkable: to make people see these odd new creatures as food.

Meanwhile, regular folk are just trying to hold on. Farm workers who used to manually pollinate the plants or aerate the soil find themselves replaced by bees and earthworms. Shipping companies find their inventory gobbled up by rats. At first, it seems people are going to be sympathetic to the idea of killing and eating the animal invaders. Of course, when man's best friend shows up, looking up at them with big gentle eyes… Well, that complicates the plan a little.

In Everyone's Vegetarian, a family of four in Penobscot, Massachusetts has to come to terms with each others' passionate, divergent opinions about the creatures. Squanto DiCapisci – once a doctoral student of agricultural science who had to scrap his research because his control groups kept mutating – sees the animals as mindless pests. He didn't do so well the last time the rules of nature started changing, and isn't that optimistic things will be different this time around. His nephew, Dylan – a shy, bookish child – is fascinated by the creatures and takes an instant liking to them. Dylan's mother, Alawa DiCapisci, wants to know where these things are supposed to go to the bathroom. And Dylan's father, Collin O'Shaughnessy, just can't get enough of stupid cat videos on the Internet.

Together, this family – along with a few displaced historical figures – try to find their way in a world full of new perils, new opportunities, and an exponentially more complicated food chain. So, hop on the Wright brothers' plane and take off for adventure.