Diary of a Single Mormon Female

She’s standing at the refreshment table at yet another Mormon (LDS) singles conference when a new guy, tall and good-looking, walks through the door. Hope rises—could he be the one?—but is dashed a minute later, when she sees hordes of women descending upon him. It’s like watching a pride of lionesses bearing down on an oblivious young gazelle.

Find the man of her dreams, have a Mormon temple marriage and live happily ever after. (Just one husband, one wife. No polygamy here.) That was always the plan, ever since she was a shy, awkward, home-schooled teenager who just wanted a boy to kiss her. But dating has been unsuccessful—none of her relationships have gone anywhere. She’s 32 and still single, trying to live a meaningful life in a church defined by its commitment to marriage and family. How can Joseph Smith’s truths or the Book of Mormon he translated help when she can’t even get a date for Saturday night?

This wry and moving memoir details that life through authentic journal entries, with candid stories about her encounters with scripture juggling, a virtual albino Chinese teenager, chastity lines, the virgin lips club, Brazilians (not that kind), a pink flamingo date messenger, an elusive guitarist in Malta, an open-minded parrot, a Swiss lumberjack, Icelandic Mormons, a marriage flowchart and dozens of awkward conversations.

Chapters include: “The Hunk of Burnin’ Love”; “Was I Weak-Butted?”; “Who Talks About Grandpa’s Migraine Headaches on a Dream Date??”; “Virgins, in This Day and Age!” and “Do You Think I Have Nerves of Steel?” Actual diary pages and photos accompany the text.

Will she ever find the man of her dreams? And will she succeed in reconciling her beliefs with her reality? Some days it feels like it would take nothing less than a fairy godmother and a magic wand.