Confessions of a Compulsive Internet Dater

My first thought, and I swear to you I am not making this up, was she looked like a hooker. A hundred-year-old- hooker. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I was where I agreed to meet her. I walked towards her thinking, what do I do next. My next shock was almost too much to comprehend. The dress was cut low in the front. Way too low. She was not wearing a bra. Her breasts were, how can I best describe them, well they were long. Yes I said long. Somewhat flat but definitely long. I do not generally carry a ruler when I go on a date why would I but when I got home I actually held a one up to my chest and tried to estimate what I had seen. They had to be six inches long. Do they make bras in a 36L? They hung there for all the world to see. Or at least me and a now shocked twenty-something year old hostess who opened the front door for us. I was brought up to be a gentleman. Not to embarrass or humiliate. So I smiled and led her inside. Maybe I walked a tad too quickly. A table by the far wall please. Maybe on the other side of the wall. THIS BOOK WILL FALL ON MANY THIRTY GROUNDS, Elke, Berlin I INTEND TO RECOMMEND IT TO ALL MY GIRFRINDS, Judi, L.A. THIS STORY NEEDS TO BE TOLD TO GUYS AND GIRLS, Sly, Miami DONT PICK UP THE PHONE WITHOUT READING IT FIRST, ROBERT, NYC