College on the Rocks

A Collection of Humor Columns

College on the Rocks is a collection of humor columns published for The Duquesne Duke, Duquesne Universitys weekly student newspaper, by multi-time award winning humor columnist David Jakielo.

This laugh-out-loud series of columns, in chronological order, showcase the progression of a humor columnist as he writes about topics that range from his being Santa Claus in a local community to dancing topless at Spring Break in Cancun with Santa Claus. Other topics include:

Davids Dad Turning 50: He is one-year closer to collecting social security while I am one-year closer to obtaining the deed to our house.

Academic Tests: Tests call for the student to become addicted to caffeine pills so that they can commit many terms and ideas to short-term memory.

The Job Fair: A job fair is where representatives from various companies gather to briefly speak with many unemployed people they have little interest in hiring.

Body Hair: A puberty-related matter that consistently haunts us throughout life, especially when it clogs our shower drain.

How to Find the Right Dentist: Ask yourself important questions like, Why is there a power chainsaw in the dentists office? and Why is this dentist toothless?

This is like no college literature ever published before...this is College on the Rocks!

What People Are Saying

"Hilarious views on college and beyond. This book is a great selection of laugh-out-loud columns not just about the craziness of college but also life in general. Tales of his wild college adventures were hilarious and had me reliving my own. But David Jakielo also easily manages to make topics such as recycling, plagiarism and the Democratic presidential caucuses funny and entertaining. The column in which David grows a beard to " go against the trend and embrace his body hair" had me stopping to wipe the tears from my eyes. I recommend this book to anyone who loves a good laugh and smart writing."

Nicole Reig
Duquesne University, 05
McMurray, PA

"My son and his friends enjoyed the book College on the Rocks. As recent high school graduates, the book provides a great introduction to the college years that lie before them."

Karen Olson
KLO Professional Billing Inc.
Westmont, IL

"I found David Jakielos book, College on the Rocks, highly entertaining. His views of college life and the motivation and habits of his classmates were unique and insightful. His reflections on the constant balancing of parents, professors, and money, while all the time pursuing girls, drinking, and a job, kept me entertained throughout the book."

Douglas D. Irwin
Director of IT
CBIZ/MMP/TriMed
Flint, MI

The Columns

THE FRESHMAN OBSERVER
The Name of the Game(02.21.02)

SOPHOMORIC HUMOR
Classin or Clubbin (09.05.02)
Dumb People Make for a Blockbuster of a Good Time (09.19.02)
How Hooked Up is Your Ride? (10.10.02)
Can You Tell Me How I Got Back to Sesame Street?
Hell on Wheels (02.27.03)

JUNIOR JOCULARITY
Before Reality, There is the First Week of School (08.28.03)
Over The Hill and then Some (09.18.03)
O Canada! We Play Our Harmonicas to Thee (10.02.03)
Making the Magic Happen (10.09.03)
Recycling: Not Just for Old Jokes (10.16.03)
A Trip Down Memory Lane with Mr. Martini (10.30.03)
The Caucuses are Coming (11.06.03)
Put Your Cell Phone on Silent (11.13.03)
Read This Since Studying is Overrated