Cleopatra's Scrapbook

CHOICE TOASTS THE WOMAN Here's to the woman the fairest of vine, She blooms every month and bears every nine> She's the only chemist that was ever known, To extract the juice from a natural stone. Here's to the woman dressed in red, She makes her living laying in bed, Fifteen cents is the regular price, Give her a quarter and she'll do it twice, Give 50 cents and she'll do it once more, Give her 75c and she'll do it till sore. Here^s to the girl that stood on the deck, Her feet were covered ■ ;ith blisters, The white of an egg ran down her leg And the. wind blew thru her whiskers, Here's to the blue fields of Kentucky, And here's to the burning bars of hell, God damn the man that will jaz.2, a girl. And then sneak oil and tell. Here's to the girl that wears silk hose, High heeled shoes and tailor'made clothes Her hat may be plain, and her height tall But her poor little cunt has to pay for all When you start to drop your wax,, Do not forget the revenue tax, Article six and section third, Requires a stamp on every tird. Here's to the Kaiser, the son-of'a bitch,. May his cock rot off with the seven year itch, And a blacksmith play with his balls with a hammer, Till his ass-hole toots the Star Spangled Banner. Here's to the Spaniard the son'of'a'bitch. With his bag rotted off* with Cubari itch. He lives in Madrid, the center of Spain, While his ass'hole whistles remember the Maine, * # * # # # HOT-TO-MOLLIES "Eat'em while they're hot,T Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'hot'tO'molhW in it. Johnnie: I was down at the beach today playing with my girl friend and, 'the sun was hot to my back and the sand was ,tO'Mollies.'', There was a heathen Chinee, Went out in the back yard to pee, He said , how is this'se, My cockee ,no pissee, I have'e God Dam'ee hard'ee THE HAPPY GUY Oh, I grabbed her 'round the middle, And swung her right around, Tripped her with my left leg, And threw her on the ground, And right below the navel, I bored her with my horn, And I never felt so good, Since the day that I was born. COUNTING IN 1928 A little boy asked his Mamma one day, "Ma how do people court?1' "Well, Johnnie, it has been a long time since Dad courvcd me, ard timer, have changed by now, so I don't know how they court now-a-days, bui if you will hide behind the curtain tonight when Sally's beau comes, you can see how he courts her then you will know how it is done." That night Johnnie got behind a curtain where he could get a good view. The next morning his Ma asked him what he saw pertaining to courting— well this is what he said: "Sally's fellow came in and sat on the davenport with Sally. They talked a while then he put his arms around her waist. Sally seemed to like it very much. After he kissed her two or three times, he said something, but I could not hear what it was, then he unbuttoned her dress and started to play with her teats. He played with them for a while then he kissed her and said something again. Then he opened his pants and took out a live eel almost as large as my arm; he had it in his pants leg I guess. I know it was alive because Sally caught it behind the head and tried to choke it, but could not succeed. He then laid her on the davenport, drew up her dress and shoved the eel all the way in; I know it went all the way up for he had to work some time to get in" When she had heard what he had seen, -she was so surprised that she could not answer. Johnnie waited for awhile, then said, "I suppose it is no harm in the eel for Sally seemed to like it, and was so afraid it would slip iut that she threw her legs around him. I bet you. it was dead when Sally let him take it out, because she kept it in there for a long, long time, and must have smOthered the poor thing because its head was hanging down with white blood running out of its mouth when he pulled it out." ******** * HAVE A DRINK Mr. COCA COLA took MISS CHERRY COLA out under the NU-GRAPE vine. He pulled her dress up NE-HI and put in his ROOT-BEER and gave her a DELEWARE PUNCH, and she cried: "OH HENRY, I'm afraid Tve got a little BABY RUTH!" * # * ♦ * * * * * PRICE OF BANANAS Little Boy:— Lady, what time is it, how deep is that pond over there, how much are your bananas? Lady in store:— Half-past eight, almost nine, up to your ass, and three for a dime. WHAT GRACE SAW Georgetown, Ky., May 28, 1928 Dear friend Lucille: Your welcome letter received and I read it with much pleasure. Papa and Harry go to the races at Lexington every af- ternoon leaving Flo and I with Miss Mable, who looks after us to see that no man runs off with of speaks to us. I am awfully tired of having a governess after me all the time. There are lots of nice men here every day but Miss Mabel is very strict. If she catches me looking at one she marches me right in, but I have a lot of fun and see and hear, what I suppose, should make a young lady of seventeen blush and I suppose I have blushed if any one had seen me. I can tell you I had quite an experience here the Other night and if you will promise to burn this letter, I will tell you what I saw. Well one night last week I guess it must have been about mid-night papa and every one else had gone to bed except Miss Mabel and I. We were out on the ver- anda. Miss Mabel was asleep in the chair, when suddenly a light gleamed thru the shutters of the next room to mine and I heard a man and a woman talking. He came to the blinds and opened the slats and looked out. It was quite dark and he did not not;ce me and supposing that everybody had retired he walked over to the woman and kissed her and hugged her many times. They both be' gan undressing and I could see distinctly as if I had been in the room. She was a remarkably beautiful woman, of about 25 , with magnificant figure and a beautiful bust, while he was about 30, and a better built man I never saw. She removed her dress and then commenced tak- ing off her shoes and stockings showing a beautiful leg and a ma^nificant calf. In the meantime he had pulled off everything except his silk underwear, with his back to her, but turning around and noticing her bare limbs as she pushed down her stockings he crossed the room in a second and sitting upon the bed beside her, he pulled her towards him by putting his arms around her, one un- der her chemise and the Other hand on her breasts and kissing her rapidly which she tried to resist, but it was of no use. I was afraid to move fearing Miss Mabel would wake, but oh, Lucille, how he kissed her and hugged her and finally pushing her on the bed—her head resting on his arm, kissing like mad for a moment but soon he drew his hand from under her and put it down and roiled up her chemise over her stomach and exposed everything. Oh my I felt as if I would jump ofF the veranda but was a' fra;d to "move I felt so excited. It reminded me of the picture we used to see at school and the description it gave under it. What beautifully formed legs she had and her stomach was pure white and her nest looked like a satin cushion on a snowy bank, and above all, the beauti' ful silky looking hair which covered her "Nancy" in clu* sLers of big curls as thick as the hair on my head It grew quite a way up her stomach thru which the man was running his fingers and toying as if they were his own honors while she drew herself upon the bed and spread her thighs wide open and seemed to enjoy his ca' resses very much while he hugged and kissed her furously I wondered what else they would do and I could hardly sit still I was so excited and afraid Miss Mable would wake or that I would make some noise. I also wondered what I would do if a man should do such things to me and how it would feel to have a man playing with the hairs under my clothes. He soon got up from the bed while she lay still and took ofF his remaining clothes and stood before her naked. I shall never forget the thrill that went thru me. Merciful heavens, I thot I would faint or sink thru the floor with excitement, such an enormous big thing standing straight up all surrounded by bushy hair and a great big red head and such a bag under it. Oh, Lucille, it was enormous, at least ten inches long and as large as my wrist. I could not believe he could get it into her, it was so large, and he did seem ■ to have a little trouble at first. He stooped down and kissed her lips, breasts, thighs, and even her "Nancy" then raised up and tried to put his big thing into her, but it seemed to hurt her for when the head was in a little way he took it out again and tried again. This he did two or three times then he wet it with something like salve and put it in again. This time it went in eaiser and he slowly sank on top of her and began taking long and steady strokes, then after a little while he suddenly gave an-awful shove wlr'ch made her cry out, "Mercy you hurt me," then he lay quite still for a while, keeping his long thing in her '■while .she .'kissed lvm. Something else must have went in her besides his big thing for she seemed to feel better as she was twisting her big bottom and put a pillow under- it, then she began with both arms working him up and down so as to meet his every motion. The motions be' came steadier and faster until at last she seemed to be very tired and asked to rest a while. In a minute they began again rapidly until suddenly she cried, "Oh,' darh ■ing, quicker, I shall die, oh, .oh," Then with a sigh she seemed to faint away, while he laid upon her almost lifeless. Oh, Lucille, you can't im' agine how frightened and afraid I was to awake Miss Mable to ask what to do as they were lying there naked and she would know I had seen all, so I waited quietly. My sensation during all the time was queer, for when the crisis came I experienced a thrill of pleasure, and found my legs and underclothing wet with a slimy sub' stance that had come from me. I sat still until the couple aroused from their stupor and began kissing each Other laughed and suddenly I was startled by Miss Mabel say' ing "come, my dear, lets go in, but walk away easy." She had seen what I had seen. She is calling me now, so bye for the present, ,; : ********* VERY OLD TIMBER BrOthers and Sisters:—- I am an aged tree in the forest of the Lord, withered in the branches and hollow in th butt, the storms of 60 winters have whistled through my boughs and stripped .them of their foliage; the scorching heat of 60 summers has peeled off my bark, but thank God, my old root still stands. A DELICIOUS EXPERIENCE Dear Bessie:— I received your kind letter last week and will hacteri to reply. I ham having a fine time. We are stopping at the Park Hotel. Bessre, I have discovered a real pleasure in life. MOther is making me wear long skirts so the boys can't see my legs, but every chance I get I lift my skirt so they can see them anyhow. Last night my boy friend asked me to take a walk with h:m and . I accepted. He put his arms around my waist and I asked him to stop, but he only held me tighter and said no one can see us, and that he did not intend to bite me. When I was not looking he slipped his hands in to my dress and caught hold of my bubbles, he worked his hands over them in such a manner that it made me feel so funny. I did not know what to do so he put his head on my breast and began sucking my teats. It felt so awfully good that I could not sit still, so I squirmed around on the bench, then he began working his hands up under my dress. He felt of my legs and kept on working "higher all the time biting my tea'.ties, and it felt awfully good, until at last he reached my pussy and pulled and twisted the hairs. By the way you remember how we Used to play wjth each Other's pussies, and you always complained about how the hairs on me got in your teeth. If the hairs on your pussy are as long as mine, they are nearly two in' ches long. At last he slipped his finger into my pussy, and it felt so pjood I wanted to kiss my breasts. He said I nearly did the hoochie on that bench. He placed my hand on his lap and laid it on something hard, I asked him what it was and he said to find out, and I did and it was his thing; it was round and warm and throbbing, he asked me to play with it and it seemed to give him a kind of pleasure and all the time he was fingering in my pussy. I could not resist. Then he pulled up my chemise and put me astride his lap. When his warm prick touch' ed my puss, it gave me a thrill like an electric shock. When his fingers found the hole he stuck his prick in and oh, nothing short of experience can describe tne feeling: I had. He kept working his ass and trying to push it in' to my belly, he asked me if it hurt and I said no, push it further and faster. With a mighty shove it went clean mp to his "balls. 1 thot 1 would die it felt so good then he he pulled it nearly out and shoved it in again. He told me to work myself so as to meet his movement but he did not have to tell me that for I was already doing it. He seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. In a few sec' onds it was so hard that I fainted, when I recovered I was still on his lap, with my head on his shoulders. He kissed me and called me his own darling and asked me if I liked it and I replied yes, do it again, but lie took a rest and all the time rubbing his big prick against my cunt, I wanted him to leave it there as I was beginning to get anOther hard on, I tried to put it in again while we were sitting on the bench, but he said we would do it next laying down. So we slid down on the grass, he took off my dress and his pants and got on top of me and told rae to put it in. When it was in he began gently twisting and showed me how to work up under it. O what a feel* ing I threw my legs around him and drew him to me and I could feel the warm fluid flowing from us both, then I fainted again and when I came to he was still on top of me with his big prick in my warm , jucy cunt but I could tell it was not so hard. My but it was hot work, but we did it until it was all over and became conscious of what was gonig on, then I kissed him and loved him until his tool was as hard as a brick again and I felt as ready for it as he did. He told me to trun over on my belly and he would show me anOther way. Well he took hold of my ass and pulled it open until he got his prick into my cunt, then he began [laying with my breasts a' gain and in a few minutes anOther pint of burning pint of burning fluid came flowing from us both. By this time we were both nearly all in, so he said we would go to sleep now and he would try again anOther time, so he washed out my cunt and cleaned his tool and we went to sleep. Tomorrow we will be married two days and we are going to screw anOther way, he knows more ways of doing it than you can imagine, we are going to do it to' morrow in a chair, he says he can ge mohe of it in that way an dl hope he does for I nearly go crazy when he gets it all in. Well I will close for this time, bidding you a loving good night, I am your friend. Ethel. THE INITIATION OF P16RCY Lexington, Ky., May 29, 192b" friend' Orar An incident in my boyish life tonight passes before the in all the timings of a panoramic view; and as my thots run back over the checkered pathway" of forty years*; tohich; has sprinkled my. hair with grey, filled my life with thorns and orange bloossms, to a month that has left its- imprint upon my whole' life;. 1 wish 1 had the power to reproduce the picture in all its colors, and do justice to the work, which at your request I undertake tonight. I regret the favor you ask is one which compels me to write of myself. To a mod- est man lacking the phrenogical enlargement that as ai rule in men and women predominate to such a lamenta- ble degree, the position is embarrassing, and in the per- usal of this I hope your eyes will rest on-the unpleasant- character I! as little as possible. I was born Y.eath a warm sun and southern skies; where the air was freighter w'th the lended odor of the magnolia and jasmine that heigh' tened the senses; where everything had its but and its 'blos- som at its birth; where the dreamy languor of the vclupt-- hary see fried inherent in all;■ where even in those who here in the north would be termed children, the sexual snark only waited for Contact to flame Up in its power; where- girls are mOthers at thirteen and grandmas at thirty, but up to my eleventh year I had known books and sketch'- ings a tempered linen dressed boy, who lived out of the sunshine and ignored the innocent deviltries of youth who looked upon girls as horrid, whose life was bounded by a pony, books, pictures and ■ flowers of the conservatory out changes for good or evil take place in every life, it came to mine, and on that sighing summer day in my .. twelfth year when Cupid threw apart the silken curtains, revealing the beauties of which I had not even dreamed. 'My hand lost its cunning, to books I said farewell a^d ambition was dead. That was a day of fafe. How bitterly have 1 cursed it since, how 1 cursed her who snatched me my "little "heaven with its delightful anticipation and 'chaperoned me through the hot house of passion, where *every beautiful flower was filled with subtle poison which reached the nerves, .sapped life and deadened the brain, My introduction to the pleasures and mysteries that have ever been^associated with the couch of love, the keen relish for which "has blasted the family Tiearthstone and over thrown empires, was not/intrusted to a novice; no 'timid simpering girl taking her first steps towards reali' zation of the anticipation of forbidden pleasures; but to a woman; to a woman of thirty, who being an apt pupil under the skillful manipulations of a husband for a nurri' her of years, had herself, became a preceptor In all those 'delicate points that surround an amour with such delights ;and rosy tints. How plainly do I see her tonight. How much "keened my appreciation of the wonderful piece of anatomy that time only still deeper imprints upon my memory; the standard by which from that time all female perfections and lovliness gauged. Ah, she is before me again, and this time unveiled. Look at her! Is she ■not beautiful? Note the poise of her head from which het glinted golden Tiair falls in such wreath. See those amber eyes; those wonderful chisled lips so red, pulpy and maist, hier fair cheeks tinted by their reflection. Her shoulders how perfectly and exquisitely moulded, rounded with the •same finish of her beautiful swelling globes and so . didn't know why it was I hung around her all day and thought her so nice. After she had visited all the fore- noon in the house which time I had learned that she was. the wife of a gentleman who was a friend of my father but wHo had gone to California for his health. I am willing to gamble on it now that he had consumption she took my hand and we went for a stroll around the place, along the beach and up into the lovely woods with its tangled grasses and wild flowers. What to me then was all that snowy linen; those beautiful ruffled skirts as she pulled them up to step over some sticks or brable she did not seem to care how high §he revealed the daintiest of feet and legs of such matchless beauty that even a cigar store indian would lose his head at sight of them. Ah; how many thousands have longed to live over again the first part of a life with the knowledge that acquired in the past. Could this happen to me what a different color this picture, of which I am writing, would have. In the dense shade, where the hot sun could not penetrate, we sat down on a log, and after she had taken off my hat and ran her dainty white hand through my hair she placed my head in her lap and pulling me close to her panting bosom, she placed her pretty lips on mine and held them there with her eyes shut until sometimes I stifled almost lost my breath; then she would take her lips away while her eyes sparkled and her cheeks red' dened clear to her hair. There was something about it all that I liked, for I would ask her to do it again; and she exclaiming bless my little man would press me to her again and would kiss my lips and face which were wet from her lips. Each attack and each pressure created for me some new and delightful sensation I had not known be- fore and there where my little pantaloons buttoned in front, I had a pain, and a great hard lump that hurt, and in my innocence I told her about it. Let me see, she said kindly; one of her hands that had so many rings on her fingers stole down and unbut- toned my pants, and then what I had never seen more than two inches long' and soft as baby's flesh was stand- ing out full five inches long and terribly swollen: I was terribly frightened at the sight and the pain and she took it in her hand telling me it was no matter, and I seemed to get better right away. Then she kissed it four or five times and bit it gently after which she put it back and buttoned up my pantaloons again. I wanted : her to hold it some more but she said no that we must go back, and before we reached the house she made me promise on my life that I would never tell what she had done or should choose to do. I would have done any thing for her, for I tell you she had made a willing slave of me in the few hours that had passed following , her arrival. During the time between tea and the hour tor retiring and while she was in conversation with the older ones, I hung about her knees playing with her beau- tiful hands and looking in to her wonderful eyes; but I soon found out that I was not so much to her as I had been when out in the woods; and signifying my deter' mination to retire I was informed at the foot of the stairs that I was to sleep across the bed at the foot. I took off my clothes, then my regular evening sponging off put on my little short nightshirt, and then turning back very carefully as per instructions, placed me a pillow and crept in. I lay for sometime thinking of my afternoon's experience and the delightful sensation that had been awakened by the newly found acquaintance; but I could not solve the problem; but while wishing that night would be very short so that when day came she would take me walking again I fell asleep. I didn't know how long I slept, but I seemed to be dreaming that some one was tickling one of my ribs I awoke only to find that a bed fellow and that it was a pretty pair of feet that had been playing with me, I was wide awake in an instant, and had them in my hands. How soft they were. Gradually my hands stole up higher than her feet; up her limbs so round and smooth, but I did not know why I did it unless they were soft and warm. The moon was shining brightly through the window and the room was as light as day. I turned over and there her pretty face and those great eyes looking at me. Come up and I will take you in my arms, she whispered, and I was less than a second getting there. Oh, how she hugged and kissed me, and how nice her plump, bare arms felt to my face and neck. Then she carelessly unfastened her chemise and I saw what I never had seen before two beautiful bosoms at once. How pretty they looked so soft and round in the soft moonlight. She rubbed them panting a:.d heaving over my fa'ce and lips, and then whispered to me to bite them, and as my lips fastened over the h'ttle hard tips her breath almost burned my face and I felt a new joy that I had not learned in the woods, and realized that I was swelling as I had in the afternoon of the day before. Then I felt one of her warm hands steal down and take it. While with the Other she took my hand and rubbed it up and down on the softest and prettiest thing I had ever felt in my young life where she left it. Oh, what a plaything I had found so soft, so curly and juicy; and as my fingers found a delicate opening she jumped as though I had hurt her. Then I felt her open her legs wide apart, after which she whispered to me to get in there and lie on top of her, which I did, and as she pull' ed my little shirt up, I felt my bare belly fitting close to her and that her chemise was clear up to her arms. Then she kissed me and hugged me again; I thought she would break me in two and whispered to me to do just as she told me ,she reached down and took the little fellow that was killing me with pain and placed it where I had my fingers when I thought I had hurt her. Now make it go in she whispered and she raised her body clear from the bed with my weight on her, and when she settled back it was in, and she gave a great sigh as I had heard people do who were in trouble. Then she seized me and bit me, and seemed to be trying to rock me in anew kind of a cradle; then tak- ing me by the hips she would push me off and pull me back, never letting that little fellow get out of the little nest where she had placed him: and while I felt a ting-ling sensation in my fingers and toes and up my back, she would roll her head on the pillow from side to side, saying oh, oh, oh. I whispered to her that I would have to peepee but she said no, and putting a towel un' der her hips, she suddenly locked her legs over my back; then bending her back high from the bed, she panted and held me for a second trying to reach my lips, but I'was too short then I lost my senses and everything got green, and I was bleeding in and all over the pretty little plaything on which I had been lying for ten minutes. Her legs and arms loosened and I got off from her shaking like a leaf but she whispered that I would feel better in a few minutes and I did. Then she got up carefully and taking a towel she went to the washstand and did some' thing I did not know what then, and coming back to the bed she took me in her arms, telling me that I must never tell, and asking me if it was not awful nice, she kissed me a few times and made me kiss ier, and with my head on her pretty bosom we fell asleep. Was it not awful nice? Well I should say it was. The little heaven I had created had all been knocked into a cocked hat by the one she had created for me. I smile when I think of my innocence, smile when I reflect what a pub' lie benefactor I was at that tender age. Then next morning, after a kiss, a look at the pretty white bosom and white bare arms, I had received my instructions as to how I should eat; and putting on my clothes I went down stairs kicking gently for having to sleep across the bed. She was a lady of culture and refinement, saw things to be done and did them with a will, could pre pare the choicest of pastries and by her winning ways was soon a welcome guest at the beach; but who dream' ed of the bond those most intimate relations that had so suddenly been established between us. Breakfast over at which she was asked the usual questions as how she rested and if I had made her any trouble, all of which received the proper replies I took her out in my boat in the cool of the morning for a ride; and more than once I caught sight of her pretty legs peeping out from under he snowy drapery, that had sudd^ly grown to have a significance with me