Lance Marcum: 5 books

At last, definitive proof that Jerry Seinfeld plagiarized the main characters and story lines of his iconic sitcom from a 16th-century unpublished play written by his distant ancestor, Ziggy Seinfelde.

From the moment she washed ashore on Pearl Island, an infant wearing only an unusual pearl necklace, Pearl Girl has led a charmed life. But everything changes when she is kidnapped by Captain Blackheart and his comically inept crew of pirates. To avoid being sold into slavery, she must use the only weapon she has - her wits.

The last thing Peter Gilliam expected for his tenth birthday was a dog, especially one he finds drowning in his backyard pool during a torrential midnight storm. But the dog's mysterious arrival is only a portent of the strangeness to come, and Peter soon begins to think that the animal might be more than just a dog - he may in fact be his guardian angel.

Zack Zuckerman never meant to start a revolution. All he wanted was for the 6th-grade class bully to leave him alone. But when Zack realizes that the teachers aren't going to help him or the other kids who are being bullied at school, he decides to take matters into his own hands. Let the bullies beware!

Like most 17-year-old boys, Marty Pepper has one main goal in life - to gain as much experience as possible with the opposite sex, and the sooner, the better. So when his best friend points out that all of the hottest girls go with the B.M.O.C.s, Marty decides to become one by running for Senior Class President. Unfortunately for Pacific High School's Class of 1968, he wins.