Mike Haskins: 20 books

Congratulations - you've made it to the ripe old age of 70! You're older than Israel and Biffo the Bear. By now the novelty of a free bus pass has worn off and you'll never make it through the late night film feature without nodding off during the news.On the bright side, you can look forward to a...

A delightful celebration of the times gone by--the language we lost, the currency we changed, and the way we used to liveWith this miscellany of reminiscences, you will be transported back to a time when exams were harder and fast food wasn't on the menu. It includes useful Latin declensions, the true...

It’s the best of times and the worst of times. You’re welcoming a new addition to the family, but you’re now officially old. You’re also an eternal babysitter. On the plus side, you can enjoy spoiling the little darlings rotten and hand them back at the end of the day before the nappies start overflowing.

This crazy collection of 3,000 jokes will keep you and your friends entertained for hours on end. Many are original puns that'll have you laughing your socks off and there are brilliant shaggy dog tales and comic quotes in there too. If, as they say, laughter is the best medicine, the hysterically funny...

Freedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This...

What’s brown and sticky? A stick. Remember the jokes you told in the playground? The ones you annoyed your parents with for hours and hours? The ones you secretly still find hilarious? This book contains them all, and more. Clean enough for children but funny enough for adults, Best Ever Playground...

Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself, or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with...

An enormous collection of over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion. Jokes range from quick-fire one-liners and observations to rambling yarns, and from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion, from the best man’s speech to the sales conference to the children’s...

Cats are cuddly, furry, purry and loveable. They also happen to be the keepers of their own destiny – and utterly untrainable. So, if you’re going to make it as a cat owner, you’re going to need survival skills: Reassure yourself: You’ll never have a more loyal companion (as long as...

Brace yourself… 60 is approaching! It’s time to face the facts – even though you might not feel it, you’re decidedly more O.A.P. than V.I.P. But don’t trade your custard creams for the cod-liver oil just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will put some swagger in your step for many years to come!

Searching for the ultimate stimulant? Something you can have on the bus in the morning or in the ambient comfort of your own home? The latest User's Guide - a totally natural and controlled experience - is just what you've been looking for. It contains everything you always wanted to know about drugs...

You won’t find a more loyal and loveable friend than you will in your dog. But if you’re going to cope with its boundless energy, its insatiable appetite and its total disregard for social niceties, you’re going to need survival skills: Think positively: You will get more exercise than...

Growing older doesn't mean you have to grow up! If you're the sort of golden oldie who still likes to party hard, chats up strangers in bars, listens to loud music (and not because your hearing is going) or dresses so outrageously that your grandchildren beg you to 'tone it down' - this book is for you....