Before the Rainbow

The book Before the rainbow is a striking confession of a mother, intertwined with powerful emotions of love and sadness, disappointments and a painful life story. Since she gave birth to her daughter, life seems to have come to a standstill for her. Totally dedicated to her child, with unconditional love, care and adoration, the mother seems to have put aside all the other relationships, including the one with her husband. Problems developed into conflicts, which ended up in divorce. The mother experienced difficult moments in that period and, since her connection with her child was very strong, just as difficult and traumatic was her child experience. The story that this family has gone through leaves very powerful emotions that go from one extreme to another. After the parents’ reconciliation, they all experience the most wonderful moments of togetherness, love and family happiness. However, it all tumbles down in a moment when the father has an accident, and everything turns into another world: a world of sadness, loss, helplessness and pain. It is hard not to ask oneself how must have all these happenings reflect in that little child’s head who had just begun a new life, full of curiosities and her unique way of behaving.
This book is also a story about a painful way that a parent must go through when faced with the child’s disease, a story of helplessness and strength at the same time, a story about struggle, about falling, searching and, eventually, about maturation and growing of the mother, who in the end, finds in herself enough strength to accept life that is given to her.
After reading such a gripping book many questions arise. Could it have been different? Could the girl be helped earlier? Who could have and how should she have been given that help? How did she develop this mental disease? Have the environment factors or the genetic predispositions triggered off such problems?
The parent is not supposed to know that. If we ask the same questions as professionals, then other questions may be put: What are the treatments available to the parents in the environment where we live? Are there any professionals, psychologists and psychiatrists that treat children? Are there profiled centers which closely deal with some kind of children’s disorders?... To many of these questions the answer would be negative.
The care for mental health, despite the fact that children are most important to us, is still insufficient both from the point of view of prevention and education of parents, as well as from the point of view of psychotherapy and treatment. As it can be seen from the story of this mother, there are certain people willing to help, to fight and to help parents and children. Since they exist one must believe that they will together with the parents succeed in building what happens to be the real help to children and their parents so that this story remains a part of the past.
(M.Sc. Ines Denona, specialist in clinical psychology)