Alone in a Crowd

A Story of a Registered Psychiatric Nurse's Struggles with Bulimia and Mental Wellness

Always seemingly happy and talkative, the author shares the darkest secrets of her sixteen-year battle with an eating disorder. Hiding her insecurities “behind the mask” of a seemingly perfect life, Andrea struggles to be present in the moment even when surrounded by family and friends. Every moment, of each day, her thoughts and energy are consumed by body image concerns, distorted thoughts around food, and other mental health issues. Andrea often finds herself feeling “Alone in a Crowd” despite her professional knowledge and caring family. Her husband also shares his unique "partner's perspective", describing the stressors of being in a relationship consumed by a disordered-eating addiction. He candidly describes his frustrations, and feelings of powerlessness and betrayal, in their fight against food. Eventually, they both realize that a shift in mindset would be necessary for their marriage to survive. With the help of professional counselling services and personal reflection, Andrea is able to gain control over her self-harming ways. Despite overcoming this deadly addiction she soon discovers that “Life” doesn't stand up to applaud her accomplishment, but instead throws more hurdles her way including her recent diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.