Advice From The Guy In Gray Sweatpants

Fiction & Literature, Humorous
Cover of the book Advice From The Guy In Gray Sweatpants by Jake Peroni, Jake Peroni
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Jake Peroni ISBN: 9781301831722
Publisher: Jake Peroni Publication: November 5, 2012
Imprint: Smashwords Edition Language: English
Author: Jake Peroni
ISBN: 9781301831722
Publisher: Jake Peroni
Publication: November 5, 2012
Imprint: Smashwords Edition
Language: English

He enters in a slow stride, as if seven doves flutter past his head through the entrance of the lowly neighborhood watering hole at 4:36 pm on a Tuesday.

Payday.

Looks around to see if he recognizes anyone, all familiar faces, but no names. Gentle nods disguised as a pop in his step, in case the acknowledgment is not returned from the fellow patrons as he drifts past.

Unshaven, dressed in flip flops, gray sweatpants, and a gritty polo shirt, as if his sporty, collared torso will compensate for the socially unacceptable sweats.

He bellies up to a seat in the back corner of the bar with visible access to a TV and earshot of every conversation within 10 yards.

Keys and cell phone placed on the bar to imply he "might" be meeting someone, or coordinating something important… He's not.

Despite having it memorized, he requests a menu. A distraction, so people don't think he's lonely or crazy… When in fact he's a bit of both.

Bartenders know him by name and bring him his usual drink before he even orders it.

Then he sits.
… And drinks.
… And sits some more.

For hours on end, watching and observing the crowds change around him.

Once the booze mixes with the loneliness, he can't help but intrude on the surrounding conversations with his unequivocal rationalization.

He resides in every dive bar across America and throughout the civilized world.

This book is merely a "collection" of his best drunken insight when interrupting a private conversation with his infinite wisdom and unparalleled perspective… Or so he thinks.

The context of the conversation has been removed, because in all honesty, it wasn't relevant to his solution anyway…

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

He enters in a slow stride, as if seven doves flutter past his head through the entrance of the lowly neighborhood watering hole at 4:36 pm on a Tuesday.

Payday.

Looks around to see if he recognizes anyone, all familiar faces, but no names. Gentle nods disguised as a pop in his step, in case the acknowledgment is not returned from the fellow patrons as he drifts past.

Unshaven, dressed in flip flops, gray sweatpants, and a gritty polo shirt, as if his sporty, collared torso will compensate for the socially unacceptable sweats.

He bellies up to a seat in the back corner of the bar with visible access to a TV and earshot of every conversation within 10 yards.

Keys and cell phone placed on the bar to imply he "might" be meeting someone, or coordinating something important… He's not.

Despite having it memorized, he requests a menu. A distraction, so people don't think he's lonely or crazy… When in fact he's a bit of both.

Bartenders know him by name and bring him his usual drink before he even orders it.

Then he sits.
… And drinks.
… And sits some more.

For hours on end, watching and observing the crowds change around him.

Once the booze mixes with the loneliness, he can't help but intrude on the surrounding conversations with his unequivocal rationalization.

He resides in every dive bar across America and throughout the civilized world.

This book is merely a "collection" of his best drunken insight when interrupting a private conversation with his infinite wisdom and unparalleled perspective… Or so he thinks.

The context of the conversation has been removed, because in all honesty, it wasn't relevant to his solution anyway…

More books from Humorous

Cover of the book Tale of the Nightmare Princess: An Adult Fantasy Comedy Adventure by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Cordelia Underwood by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book The Other Side by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book The Range Trip by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book The Lobster Trap by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book The Wheels Of Chance; A Bicycling Idyll (Mobi Classics) by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Tenting Today by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Nig-Nog and Other Humorous Stories by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book La Maîtresse du roi de Navarre by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Complete San Francisco Sullivans Boxed Set Books 1-9 by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book The Watson Letters: Volume 2: Not the 39 Steps by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Les versets brûlants by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Lucky Strike by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book THE TRAVELING VAMPIRE AND THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER by Jake Peroni
Cover of the book Cupcakes, Diaries, and Rotten Inquiries by Jake Peroni
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy