A Little Book of Toasts and Maxims

THE LADIES O Woman! in our hours of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please. And variable as the shade By the light quivering aspen made, When patn and anguish wring the brow, A ministering angel thou f Sir Walter Scott THEY talk about a woman's sphere as though it had a limit ; There's not a place in earth or heaven, There's not a task to mankind given, There's not a blessing or a woe, There's not a whispered yes or no, There's not a single life or birth That has a feather's weight of worth, Without a woman in it. HERE'S to Woman in her higher, nobler aspects, whether maid, wife, widow, grass-widow, mOther-in-law, hired girl, telegraph operator, telephone helloer, queen, book-agent, wet-nurse, stepmOther, boss professional fat woman, professional double-headed woman, or professional beauty ! God bless her ! Woman is an idol that man worships—until he throws it down. Here's to Woman ; sometimes our superior, but sometimes, fortunately, our equal, to the Woman whose heart and whose soul Are the light and the life of each spell we pursue ; Whether sunned at the tropics or chilled at the pole, If women be there there is happiness too. Thus circling the cup, hand in hand, ere we drink, Let sympathy pledge us, through pleasure, through pain. That, fast as a feeling but touches one link, Her magic shall send it direct through the chain. If the heart of man is depressed with cares, The mist is dispelled when a woman appears. DRINK to fair Woman, who, I think, Is most entitled to it; For if anything ever could drive me to drink It's certainly she that could do it. J* And when a lady's in the case, You know all Other things give place. WHAT could have been the use of Eve's wearing clothes when there were no Other women to be jealous of them ? HERE'S to Woman ! The fairest work of the great . The edition is large, and no man should be without a copy. WHEN Eve brought woe to all man. kind, Adam called her woe-man ; But when she woo'd with love so kind He then pronounced it woo-man ; But now with folly and with pride Their husbands' pockets skimming, The ladies are so full of whims That people call them whim-men. Women have so much heart that they don't need any conscience. Be to her virtues very kind, Be to her faults a little blind. AULD Nature swears, the lovely dears Her noblest work she classes, O : Her prentice hand she tried on man, An' then she made the lasses, O MAN was made when Nature was but an apprentice, but Woman when she was a past-mistress of her art. HERE'S to the girls of my native shore ; I love but one and can love no more. Since she's not here to take her part, I'll drink her share with all my heart. Women in love more easily forgive great indiscretions than small indelicacies. Jt TO the first woman, the mOther of us all ; even though she was, according to the old story, only a side-issue! It takes nine tailors to make a man, and one woman to break him