A Ferret Manual: How to Train and Manage Your Human

So you really think you "own" your pet ferrets and that they live in "your" house? Well, think again – because it just may be otherwise. And that's exactly why we've written this humorous little book, "A Ferret Manual: How to Train and Manage Your Human." It examines ferret training and ferret care from a ferret's-eye point of view.

Here's what you'll get . . .

Introduction – An Overview of Human Nature
Toys – Get What You Really Want
Meal Time – Make 'em Get It Right
Litter Pans and Cage Configuration – Or the Power of Poop
Real Estate – Location and Size
The Annoyance of "Ferret Proofing"
Conclusion

Ferrets are unique pets and will often, as we demonstrate in this little book, make you see things in a unique way. Enjoy.

Here's an excerpt:

So, you've finally acquired your very own human, have you? Good for you and congratulations! It sure beats being crowded together with a bunch of total strangers in a tiny cage at the pet store, doesn't it? But . . . while this is a great accomplishment and a first step toward a happy life in a home of your own, your job is just beginning. You have a lot of work and a long road ahead of you.

First of all, humans aren't really very teachable. But, then, there are very few animals as inquisitive and as intelligent as ferrets. That means training your human will require, in varying degrees as your unique situation demands, inventiveness, persistence, consistent application, and time.

Okay, let's get started.

Introduction – An Overview of Human Nature
Following are the four important truths about or principles of human nature that will form the foundation of our guidelines and rules for training and managing your human. Remember these and adapt your training tactics accordingly, and you should see some success in your human-training efforts.

1. Humans are basically lazy creatures.
   The thing you need to keep squarely in mind at all times is that adult humans are lazy. They don't sleep nearly as much as we do, but they are far less active when awake. They seldom run, they don't hide under the bed, and they never get on top of the dresser and play among the knickknacks. Even human kits ("children," I think they call them) usually don't play as vigorously as ferrets, and I've never seen one do the ferret "war dance."

Because they are lazy, then, and slaves to the law of inertia, humans are just downright hard to train. The difficulty lies in getting them to change a behavior. For some bizarre reason, they prefer the familiar and easy to the better course. And never forget that humans just aren't as smart as ferrets. There's really nothing you can do about that, though.

For a human, it takes a lot of effort to learn something new and change a thinking pattern and/or a behavior. That’s why they dig in their heels and resist change: because it takes effort. Ironically, though, humans often expend more energy resisting change, owing to their inherent laziness, than they would actually making the change. (But, remember, they're just not all that bright.) So, one of the keys to successfully training and managing your human will be persistence. You will simply have to work at it assiduously until you've achieved the desired results.

Just don't give up. Success could be right around the corner.