101 Things to Do During a Dull Sermon

A survival guide for sermon victims

For those sermon-heavy Sundays when you long to be washing the dog or unblocking a drain, here are 101 adrenaline-pumping exercises: * See if a yawn really is contagious * Slap the person sitting next to you. See if he or she turns the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the pastor * Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs 'They cut down trees for this?' - Erasmus 'I deplore the lack of an index' - Martin Luther 'Very dodgy' - John Wesley 'I prefer the original Greek' - Augustine of Hippo