Nine Day Novel: Authorphobia

Laugh at Your Fear of Writing - Suck Less for Author Success

Can’t take the first step in becoming an author? Afraid you’ll suck at writing?

Have you ever… 

• Heard that little voice inside your head, whispering that your writing sucked?
• Simply felt too terrified to start writing?
• Had the wind knocked out of your sails—been critiqued by a “well-meaning” person—and decided that they were right and gave up?
• Read and read motivational books on writing only to end up more fearful afterward?
• Compared yourself to “successful” writers and decided that you’ll never measure up?

If so, congratulations! You’re a writer!

And I’ll tell you what no other motivational “mushery” book about becoming an author will tell you—in the beginning… 

We all sucked when we first started.

I’ll tell you a little secret. All those authors you want to be just like? The “Stephen Kings” and the “Nora Roberts"… The list of successful authors to envy is endless. But you know what? When they started, the first sentence each one of those authors you want to be wrote … sucked. The only difference between them and you? 

The successful authors overcame their fear of writing!

I used to be a yearning and scared-to-death wannabe author. I’m assuming that if you’re reading the book description of a book called Authorphobia, chances are high you’re looking for a little bit of writer inspiration and motivation like I was—you may be having a little fear of failure about becoming a writer. But all the motivational “la la” books never spoke to my writing soul … so I’m doing what I always do, writing a book to fill that void. 

The best way to overcome your fear of writing?

Let me suggest that before you read another tired book that starts out with “FEAR is just False Expectations Appearing Real,” you embrace the one thing that will crush your writer fear faster than anything I know—humor.

Learn to Laugh Fear in the Face

My goal with this book was to get down and dirty with your fears and expose the naked truth of them—show them for what they are. Common, communicable if you’re not careful, controllable, and ultimately conquerable using the one thing that human beings have always relied on to survive dark nights in the forest of our irrational fears. Nervous, naughty, sometimes a little nasty, sarcastic wit. 

This is not your grandma’s writing inspiration book.

At the publication of this book, there are at least a dozen “Author quote, ‘authorpreneur’, get over your fear, there-there Johnny or Sally, everything will be okay, hand-holding” books you could read that’ll have you convinced in no time that all this author stuff is easy-peasy lemon squeezy. This … is not one of those books. 

Are you ready for some reality?

This book will: 

• Help you laugh at your fear of the word “suck.”
• Introduce you to the “Goldberg the Goalie” technique for fear-busting.
• Give you some of the best old-dead-author quotes you’ll ever read.
• Show you tons of “suck-busters” to help you start writing.
• Poke fun at just about every sacred cow of writing I could think of.
• And best of all—reveal my super-secret “fear of bad reviewers” cure-all. (hint: it involves chicken blood)

Sometimes an ice-cold bucket of sarcastic suck smackdown is just what the doctor ordered to shock you out of a drunken stupor of fear. Luckily, this bucket of blood of a book is so full of suck-busting smackdown that you may never be afraid to write again. 

If you’ve had enough of your sucking fear getting the best of you and you’d like to turn the tables on it once and for all, scroll up and click the BUY button at the top of this page!

You have nothing to lose, but your fear of sucking writing.