New Moan: The First Book in The Twishite Saga: A Parody

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Cover of the book New Moan: The First Book in The Twishite Saga: A Parody by Stephfordy Mayo, Michael O'Mara
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Author: Stephfordy Mayo ISBN: 9781843174967
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Publication: July 1, 2010
Imprint: Michael O'Mara Language: English
Author: Stephfordy Mayo
ISBN: 9781843174967
Publisher: Michael O'Mara
Publication: July 1, 2010
Imprint: Michael O'Mara
Language: English

Plenty of overwrought prose and melodramatic angst mark this fang-sharp parody of number-one New York Times–bestseller New Moon

 

"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."

 

Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy-an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he-just maybe-be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Plenty of overwrought prose and melodramatic angst mark this fang-sharp parody of number-one New York Times–bestseller New Moon

 

"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."

 

Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy-an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he-just maybe-be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

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