Donald Rump: 39 books

When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 4,200 words in all.

Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC "Doc,...

THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of...

Three men, one blonde secretary, a jammed up elevator, and a series of ghastly, deadly farts.  What could possibly go wrong?  Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,600 words.

THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of...

You found her! The hottest chick you've ever laid eyes on wants you and only you. But aren't you forgetting something? You're broke, and this chick is way out of your league. She's scorching hot and you're…well…lucky to have her. Or so you think… This short volume will help...

THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of...

Earl Muggs wanted a wife. Instead, he got the devil, or close to it. His witch of a wife Helga doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, and certainly doesn’t polish yours truly. Gagnabbit! So what’s a man to do? Get revenge, that’s what! And mental midget Muggs knows just how… Approximately 1,150 words. WARNING: Contains toe cheese.

Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only...

THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of...

Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his...

THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of...

Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares...

When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads,...