The Rock Bible

Unholy Scripture for Fans and Bands

Nonfiction, Entertainment, Music, Pop & Rock, Rock, Music Styles, Humour & Comedy, General Humour
Cover of the book The Rock Bible by Henry Owings, Quirk Books
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Author: Henry Owings ISBN: 9781594748165
Publisher: Quirk Books Publication: February 10, 2015
Imprint: Quirk Books Language: English
Author: Henry Owings
ISBN: 9781594748165
Publisher: Quirk Books
Publication: February 10, 2015
Imprint: Quirk Books
Language: English

Like Moses delivering forth the Ten Commandments, Chunklet magazine presents you with The Rock Bible—the complete rules for living an authentic life of rock ’n’ roll.  Here are hundreds of wise and witty guidelines for
 
Drummers: “If you’re one of those drummers who sets up at the front of the stage, back the hell up. You are the goalies of rock; play your position.”
 
Singers: “When you feel like stage-diving, first make sure the people in the front like your music enough to catch you.”
 
Guitarists: “No one’s looking at your guitar strap. Don’t ever spend more than the cost of an average meal on something that can be replaced by a particularly hearty piece of string.”
 
Keyboardists: “There’s only one person who will look more ridiculous and offensive in leather pants than the lead singer: the keyboard player.”
 
Onstage Antics: “Being wasted onstage works for only about 5 percent of bands, and yours isn’t one of them.”
 
Fans: “Fans that dress like the band are just asking to be pummeled. If you want to be in the band that badly, you might as well bring your gear to the show and play along from the audience.”
 
And unholy words on much, much more.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Like Moses delivering forth the Ten Commandments, Chunklet magazine presents you with The Rock Bible—the complete rules for living an authentic life of rock ’n’ roll.  Here are hundreds of wise and witty guidelines for
 
Drummers: “If you’re one of those drummers who sets up at the front of the stage, back the hell up. You are the goalies of rock; play your position.”
 
Singers: “When you feel like stage-diving, first make sure the people in the front like your music enough to catch you.”
 
Guitarists: “No one’s looking at your guitar strap. Don’t ever spend more than the cost of an average meal on something that can be replaced by a particularly hearty piece of string.”
 
Keyboardists: “There’s only one person who will look more ridiculous and offensive in leather pants than the lead singer: the keyboard player.”
 
Onstage Antics: “Being wasted onstage works for only about 5 percent of bands, and yours isn’t one of them.”
 
Fans: “Fans that dress like the band are just asking to be pummeled. If you want to be in the band that badly, you might as well bring your gear to the show and play along from the audience.”
 
And unholy words on much, much more.

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