The Funniest People in Comedy: 250 Anecdotes

Some sample anecdotes; 1) When his two sons were attending UCLA, comedian Joe E. Brown was invited to join his sons’ fraternity—provided that he become an undergraduate. Mr. Brown paid the tuition and even attended a physics class, where he challenged the professor’s statements and even asserted that Albert Einstein had called him for advice. (This was a somewhat true statement, but of course Mr. Einstein hadn’t called Mr. Brown for advice about physics.) After the class was over, the professor told Mr. Brown, “Stay away from my class, and I’ll give you an A, but if you ever show your face in here again, I’ll flunk you.” 2) Celebrities have an advantage over other people in that they can get into crowded restaurants quickly by mentioning their name. While Groucho Marx and his family were waiting in line to get into a crowded restaurant, his wife asked him to let the headwaiter know who he was so they would be seated quickly. (This was in the days before Groucho grew a real mustache, and so he had not been recognized.) Groucho didn’t want to reveal his name because he didn’t like the kind of restaurants that catered to celebri-ties. In fact, Groucho had given the headwaiter a fake name: Sam Jackson. However, his wife was persistent, so finally he tapped the headwaiter on the shoulder and said, “My wife wants me to tell you who I am. My name’s not really Jackson. It’s Abe Schwartz, and I’m in the wholesale plumbing business. And this is Mrs. Schwartz, and all the little Schwartzes.”