The Celebrated Sprinting Tree of the Calaveras Moon

Don't judge a man by the tree he falls in love with. Lu Chan Spenser Fredette, nicknamed Siddhartha, lost the love of his life, Bolinda or Bo, as she sunned herself unwittingly on the path of stampeding Sprinting Trees. The trees didn't mean any harm, but Siddhartha could not be consoled. He would not be consoled until he saw his beloved, mail order bride brought back from the dead in the form of a celebrated Sprinting Tree. From then on, the two would not be parted--except the Running Redwoods had nefarious designs. The destiny of Siddhartha and Bo the Sprinting Tree is written on the binary stars of the California Solar System and lucky for you, broadcast on Channel 12, Your Universe News, bringing you all of the news you make and break at all hours and all times throughout space at the tireless speed of quantum thought.