The Badger War

The international animal trafficker known as The Rooster sights his rifle on a black bear rooting for grubs in a decaying silver maple tree in the woods of Nebraska. Black bear organs fetch a high price on the black market. Hiding nearby, investigative reporter Alexander Henry trains his camera on The Rooster. Suddenly, a massive cloud of leaves and debris swarms over The Rooster. The startled bear runs away from the commotion, directly towards Alexander Henrys hide. Despite his fear that The Rooster may have discovered him, Mr. Henry decides that encountering the frightened bear is a bigger threat and bolts away. As he jumps a fallen log, a searing pain shoots down his leg. Someone has shot the reporter with a tranquilizer dart. When the drug wears off, Mr. Henry finds himself a captive in an underground cell. But why would anyone want to hold him prisoner? In answer, a Jacobs slot on the solid prison door opens, and in waddles a badger. The baffled and alarmed reporter now wonders, Why would they stick a live badger in a prison cell with me? So he holds out his hands in a non-threatening manner, and attempts to befriend the badger. There there. Good girl. Nice badger. I will not hurt you. The badger rises up on her hind legs, eyes the man curiously, and places her paws on her hips. Mr. Henry, the badger replies. We should be making those same assurances to you.