Passing Judgment: Praise and Blame in Everyday Life

Nonfiction, Family & Relationships, Parenting, Peer Pressure, Health & Well Being, Psychology, Social Psychology, Social & Cultural Studies, Social Science, Sociology
Cover of the book Passing Judgment: Praise and Blame in Everyday Life by Terri Apter, W. W. Norton & Company
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Author: Terri Apter ISBN: 9780393247862
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company Publication: January 9, 2018
Imprint: W. W. Norton & Company Language: English
Author: Terri Apter
ISBN: 9780393247862
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Publication: January 9, 2018
Imprint: W. W. Norton & Company
Language: English

Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.

Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn’t be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your relationships? “Keenly perceptive” (The Atlantic) psychologist and writer Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships, and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.

Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise, and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant’s dependence, we continue to monitor others’ judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a “judgment meter,” which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, and registers a positive or negative opinion.

In Passing Judgment, Apter reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, Apter gives us the tools to learn about our personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others’ views, and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.

Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn’t be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your relationships? “Keenly perceptive” (The Atlantic) psychologist and writer Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships, and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.

Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise, and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant’s dependence, we continue to monitor others’ judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a “judgment meter,” which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, and registers a positive or negative opinion.

In Passing Judgment, Apter reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, Apter gives us the tools to learn about our personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others’ views, and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others.

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