Old Soldiers Never Die (They Just Rot Away)

Fiction & Literature, Humorous
Cover of the book Old Soldiers Never Die (They Just Rot Away) by Raymond E. LaForest, Raymond E. LaForest
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Author: Raymond E. LaForest ISBN: 9781476198392
Publisher: Raymond E. LaForest Publication: June 5, 2012
Imprint: Smashwords Edition Language: English
Author: Raymond E. LaForest
ISBN: 9781476198392
Publisher: Raymond E. LaForest
Publication: June 5, 2012
Imprint: Smashwords Edition
Language: English

old soldiers never die

a cleverly worded presidential order is drawn up creating a senior service program for the army. it is written to look as if seniors would be allowed to serve the army on a strictly volunteer basis. however, hidden in the order is wording that allows seniors to be required to serve under 'certain' conditions. not being clearly defined this means they can be inducted for just about any reason.

most seniors view this as involuntary servitude. The rebellion begins as thousands of seniors are called to serve. they refuse to do their jobs, frequently leaving the base or take advantage of the golf course on work days and are disrespectful to officers all the way up to the commanding general.

while they become surrogate grandparents to half the base they also become a royal pain in the ass to everyone else. they get together and plot to make life miserable for everyone all the way up to the president.

the main character, ken johnson, is in trouble starting on the first day. his rebellion against the army becomes contagious as he leads the seniors in their quest to cause so many problems that the president will cancel the senior service program. johnson refuses to address officers as sir or mam. Instead he calls them sonny or sweetie. other characters include:

major straub. he hates the senior service program and tries to make life miserable for everyone involved. he is the center of friction and bears the brunt of everyone's ire.

mike, is a tall skinny former miner straight from the hills of kentucky. mike becomes a driver for the officers. he is a heavy smoker and burns up several vehicles and sets his room on fire by falling asleep with a cigarette in his hand.

bertha is a 5' 5” jamaican woman and built like a tank. she threatens officers and enlisted personnel alike. she is a heavy drinker and uses marijuana openly claiming its for medicinal use only. she also practices voodoo and makes several officers victims of her practices.

walt is a 6'4” 260 lb african-american man that appoints himself protector of the rest of the draftees. he constantly threatens people and intimidates everyone. he is feared and avoided by the officers.

the problems they cause become so numerous that the army can't wait to see them gone.

the president, however, doesn't want to admit to having made a mistake that could cost him re-election. he tries to convince the public that the seniors love what they are doing and are happy.

this leads to a three way struggle between the army the seniors and the president. the result is a hilarious tug of war between all parties.

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old soldiers never die

a cleverly worded presidential order is drawn up creating a senior service program for the army. it is written to look as if seniors would be allowed to serve the army on a strictly volunteer basis. however, hidden in the order is wording that allows seniors to be required to serve under 'certain' conditions. not being clearly defined this means they can be inducted for just about any reason.

most seniors view this as involuntary servitude. The rebellion begins as thousands of seniors are called to serve. they refuse to do their jobs, frequently leaving the base or take advantage of the golf course on work days and are disrespectful to officers all the way up to the commanding general.

while they become surrogate grandparents to half the base they also become a royal pain in the ass to everyone else. they get together and plot to make life miserable for everyone all the way up to the president.

the main character, ken johnson, is in trouble starting on the first day. his rebellion against the army becomes contagious as he leads the seniors in their quest to cause so many problems that the president will cancel the senior service program. johnson refuses to address officers as sir or mam. Instead he calls them sonny or sweetie. other characters include:

major straub. he hates the senior service program and tries to make life miserable for everyone involved. he is the center of friction and bears the brunt of everyone's ire.

mike, is a tall skinny former miner straight from the hills of kentucky. mike becomes a driver for the officers. he is a heavy smoker and burns up several vehicles and sets his room on fire by falling asleep with a cigarette in his hand.

bertha is a 5' 5” jamaican woman and built like a tank. she threatens officers and enlisted personnel alike. she is a heavy drinker and uses marijuana openly claiming its for medicinal use only. she also practices voodoo and makes several officers victims of her practices.

walt is a 6'4” 260 lb african-american man that appoints himself protector of the rest of the draftees. he constantly threatens people and intimidates everyone. he is feared and avoided by the officers.

the problems they cause become so numerous that the army can't wait to see them gone.

the president, however, doesn't want to admit to having made a mistake that could cost him re-election. he tries to convince the public that the seniors love what they are doing and are happy.

this leads to a three way struggle between the army the seniors and the president. the result is a hilarious tug of war between all parties.

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