My Big Fat Russian Divorce 1.1

This is me in all my glorious and pathetic splendor, I'm the result of treacherous fate. This life is something that I could have never guessed. A choice that I would have never made, a shotgun-suicide that I would have never committed. Who would ever choose to become a brainless zombie begging for brains? No one in their right mind would do such a despicable thing. Boring sheep! All of them, I say Quite unfortunately for me I’m not just anyone. Most certainly I’m not a conformist and not the average Joe. When it comes to life, I like it hard and sexy all the way to hell even if it’s for my own misfortune. Mother didn’t raise no losers, if failure is my destiny then I shall majestically fail in such an epic way that no one will ever be able to forget my tragic ending. Not even me… For this is my righteous destiny and my glorious descent to the fiery pits of hellish damnation. This most precarious choice has a name. Her name is Julia, the reason for all my predicaments and failures. No, I’m not even selling it short. Everything happened because of her! The SheDevil! But what if life could be different? Could it all be something else? The what if and the maybe not, the unsolved enigma of my sweet life. This is the relentless question that I cannot answer. Just yet…