I’ve Heard that One Before

 I am 76 years old with a wife, Linda, for 50 years.  We have 4 children, 8 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren.  We have lived in Palos Park, Ill. For the past 48 years.  My employment has been all over the board: caddy, bus boy, factory worker, U.S. Navy (electronics technician), rural mail carrier, bricklayer laborer, insurance adjuster, general contractor, heavy equipment operator, scale operator for Waste Management, and finally retired July 1, 2012.    

The title of my book is “I’ve Heard That One Before” which tells a story.  I have never written a joke of my own creation in my life.  Every joke was told to me.  As a youngster people would tell jokes and for some odd reason I could remember them.  I have often said, “If I left my brain to science the only thing they would find would be jokes.” Recently a friend of mine asked me to write a few jokes for him.  I wrote maybe 40 or 50 and he said, “You should write a book.”  He kept pushing until I did write one.

I have 3 hobbies: golf during nice weather (I was a golf course ranger every Sunday for 20 years – free golf): yard work (I have ¾ acres – half of which is covered with flowers and ornate shrubs): and woodworking during bad weather.  Woodwork was - no is - making jigsaw puzzles.  The puzzles started out as simple cartoon characters to entertain my children but grew to very complex puzzles with 200 to 300 pieces.  Everything from animals to cartoon characters to sport team logos, course scenes and flowers.  Must have given 50 or 60 away and still have over 100.