Intimacy and Disability

A search of books being published will disclose an abundance of works depicting fantasy intimacy, sex if you will, of all types. The public apparently shows great interest in these titles and they sell quite well or else there would not be such a plethora of these works. Yet despite this bounty of fictional books on sex and intimacy there are few about real intimacy other than text books. Furthermore, works that attempt to cover the subject of intimacy as it relates to disability seem to be almost non-existent. I must agree, that it not an easy topic to discuss. But, for something so important and prevalent today, the scarcity is most baffling and troubling.
Because of this phenomenon, millions of couples are left to fend for themselves in dealing with this most disrupting problem. You might assume that the issue is thoroughly covered in the institutional rehabilitation of the person afflicted with the disability. Therefore, books covering the subject are not necessary. In reality, the subject is ignored. It is as if it doesn’t exist. This preoccupation and interest with intimacy and sex that is everywhere when we are able-bodied seem to suddenly disappear when a person becomes disabled. I find this most disheartening.
At least in the case of my dear wife, the subject was not breeched at all in the course of the rehabilitation routine after her stroke. As a result, we novices had to attempt to figure it out ourselves among life-threatening circumstances. Were we successful? My dear, a master teacher, would probably give me a C+ grade – not good enough for the love of my life. But, my hope in writing this account is that it will instigate some interest on the part of professionals and serve as a caution to those in like circumstances. It is a short, easy read with a touch of “wisdom” to mix in with some of the fantasy for a change – and it’s free.