I (do Not!) Accept

How often do we skip over terms and conditions we see on websites, and accept them without a second look? Well that's fine, it's a choice we make, a very risky choice. We trust the lawyers not to put anything funny in there, anything that could turn around and bite us. We trust that there are those around us who understand better than we do, and take the time to read the terms and conditions, and hopefully warn us that there is something in there that might not be safe to accept.
And sometimes, the website lawyers try to take the choice away from us, and try to force us to accept things we might not want to accept, just because they said so, just because we happened to click the wrong link.
This is a very fictitious story, a reductio ad absurdum, about very real terms and conditions encountered on a real website. This is a warning by someone who may not understand better, but does bother to read, even if it sometimes is just a quick skim.
The "terms and conditions" quoted in this story are based on real terms and conditions, which I have encountered on real internet websites. They have been rewritten and modified slightly to avoid copyright infringements, while trying to retain the intended meaning. If you recognize them to be similar to something you have published in the terms and conditions on your website, then... seriously, shame on you. You really should have left the "you did because I said you did" mentality on the junior school playing fields.
Everything else is fictitious.