Fishin' Tales (and the ones that got away)

Roy D. Mercer is best known for his colorful phone calls and threats of ass whuppin’s and pop knots, but people who really know Roy realize there’s more to him than misunderstandings. There’s family and there’s fishing.
Few people are aware that Roy keeps a journal filled with observations about his family and his fishing trips. This book shares his tales about life in the double wide with his wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, and step-daughter Lateesha. And of course, Lateesha’s dog, Bon Jovi.
As Roy says, “There always seems to be a ruckus goin’ around here. There was a time when I could settle ‘em down. But then the druggist started gettin’ suspicious at how much Nyquil we’s buyin’.”
It’s always something at the Mercer trailer.
“We just got back from a funeral. Sharon Gene’s cousin, Kelly Gene. His poor mamma was a dislessic and she always thought she named him after the dancer. Died of lime disease. Not from a tick bite, though. No, Kelly Gene was down in Quarez on a Tequila bender and as near as them Mexican doctors could tell, he sucked so many limes, he puckered his windpipe shut and assphixinated. Bad case of lime disease,” said Roy.
There are plenty of homemaking and child rearing tidbits here, but don’t miss out on all of Roy’s great fishing tips and tricks.
Roy doesn’t hold with store-bought bait. He prefers to make his own and he gives out some of the recipes in this book, like:
“Went out there and caught two or three perdy good-sized bass. Done it on some bait I made out of out-of-date biscuit dough, Cocoa Pebbles, and the run-off oil from a can of tuna fish.” You just can’t buy that kind of wisdom at the bait shop.
He also tells of some of his favorite fishing holes while recounting fishing trips with his many fishing buddies.
“Back on Tuesday, me and Raymond went and trickled off down the right leg of Wet Trouser Creek. If you get one of them lake and stream maps, it shows up on that thing as three or four little dark spots that trails off just south of the Tee-Tee River,” Roy says. “I did alright, but Raymond didn’t catch a thing. I told him it was ‘cause of the way he was workin’ his worm. You know usually you want to work a worm slowly back towards you, but for some reason, down on wet trouser creek, to catch anything you got to really give your worm a good shakin’.”
So dive on into Roy’s world and learn the true country way to reel in baskets of fish and deal with family trials and tribulations.

The reviews are rolling in:
"Roy rote a book? Makes about as much sense as a chimp doing brain surgery." Dingo Malone

Clem Kardashian says, "This family makes mine look normal."

"It's a 55 gallon drum of Horse-hockey!" Fleet Southcott

"After I read it, I was happier than a kid with an All-Day sucker and two tongues." Doodles Weaver