First Of The Fallen

She felt her own emotions now as if her spirit had been violated, placed onto hot coals. The intensity was like nothing she had ever felt. Just as Lee had warned, this was not a movie.

But she felt something else. She felt a sense of loss, as if a true friend had failed and was now left behind, as if somebody whose life could have been totally different even if it would be harsh. But he had now signed off on his own demise. He was now, finally and irretrievably out of options. Then the session ended.

Astrid was drained. Empty. She took a few minutes to compose herself. It was as promised. She had seen herself as the executioner, charged with seeing to the ending of a life. She slowly looked around the room and saw Lee off in a corner, facing the wall. Then she heard Lee speak, almost shout, in a harsh, ragged voice.

“Think you could do that? Do you think you could walk in my shoes? Do you?”Astrid was silent. They both were, for a long time.