Encyclopedia Paranoiaca

Nonfiction, Reference & Language, Reference, Encyclopedias, Entertainment, Humour & Comedy, General Humour
Cover of the book Encyclopedia Paranoiaca by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf, Simon & Schuster
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf ISBN: 9781439199572
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Publication: November 20, 2012
Imprint: Simon & Schuster Language: English
Author: Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
ISBN: 9781439199572
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication: November 20, 2012
Imprint: Simon & Schuster
Language: English

IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL!

Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life?

In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn’t.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy—eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands—are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous— drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans— pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you’re crossing your legs right now, you’re definitely at serious risk.

Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended).

***

The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL!

Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life?

In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn’t.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy—eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands—are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous— drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans— pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you’re crossing your legs right now, you’re definitely at serious risk.

Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended).

***

The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)

More books from Simon & Schuster

Cover of the book Turnabout by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book The Hunger by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book The Barn on Half Moon Hill by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Baseball in the Garden of Eden by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Death by Rodrigo by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Jack Kennedy by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book D-Days in the Pacific by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Be Quick - But Don't Hurry by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Making Money Made Simple by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Full-Court Press by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book My Long Trip Home by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book The Center Holds by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Full Ride by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book A Hole at the Bottom of the Sea by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
Cover of the book Last Stop Vienna by Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy