Inept Concepts: 42 books

Do creepy, crawly critters cause you to cringe? What about alliteration? Either way, if you like movies with the inherent "ick" factor these varmints elicit, film critic Mr. Satanism has you covered. With spiders. And if 50+ movies featuring nature's least wanted aren't enough, he also takes...

A short story that proves record collectors really are a**holes.

How many Oz movies do you think there are? Like three, right? Ha! There are dozens, and if you include cartoon specials that number may swell into the hundreds. It's easy to forget now, especially since you probably weren't alive then, but The Wonderful Wizard of Oz really was the Star Wars of its...

Like true love, Bigfoot doesn't really exist, but that hasn't stopped hordes of people from looking for him, trying to capture him on film, and, worst of all, making terrible movies about him. Now Mr. Satanism, the greatest genre movie critic in the world, takes the Footheads to task with his latest...

Think you know zombies? Supervillain-cum-film critic Mr. Satanism plumbs the depths of this over-saturated genre, with over 100 brutally honest reviews of undead obscurities you never knew existed, including, er, gems like Dorm of the Dead (2006); Corpses are Forever (2003); Decay (2012); The Quick...

A canine-thropic (it's a word now) assault on that detestable Uncle Tom of the animal kingdom, man's so-called best friend (not), the treacherous, mangy, smelly, useless DOG. Vilest of pets, the dog does nothing, produces nothing, embetters nothing, and will turn on you at the drop of a hat and/or...

It's his magnum opus, and he doesn't even know what that means. Mr. Satanism's biggest, thickest, throbbing-est movie guide yet covers nearly every dinosaur movie ever made, from the silent era to Jurassic World, and plenty of monkey business besides. Featuring the all-but-forgotten second wave of...

Quick, name something invisible. If you said something like "Institutional racism!" then don't buy this book, because you're just gonna end up getting ticked off and signing some online petition. If you said "The Invisible Man!" though, or "Those invisible brains from that...

We've all seen at least one movie where a friendly alien visits Earth only to face prejudice and misunderstanding. Well forget those movies. Space aliens should be scary, and the ones featured in Mr. Satanism's latest film guide ARE scary, because he's limited this book to flicks about creepy alien...

Infamous film critic Mr. Satanism takes a break from the horror beat to deconstruct the critically-neglected but perennially popular sub-sub-genre known as the "Lifetime Original Movie". Why? Because with their paranoid plots, self-loathing misogyny, and heavily-stylized violence, many of...

Cannibal movies really are the least-effort-required horror movies to produce. A little fake (or not) blood and some expired meat donated by a sympathetic butcher, and you're good to go. All you have to do is promise the butcher a producer credit. The point I'm trying to make is, don't expect a lot...

A bickering couple learns what the phrase "the dog days of summer" REALLY means. A college student takes the last walk of his life. Two people discover that Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be. A man marries a serial killer - on purpose. All this and more in this terrifying collection of short, short horror stories that are guaranteed to crack your nerves like a whip.

There's an alternate universe right beneath our feet, a universe of basements and sub-basements, steam tunnels, catacombs, subways and sewers. And it's inhabited. By the homeless, the forgotten, the disenfranchised. And something else. Something evil, called up from he furthest reaches of Hell to prey on the living and the dead alike on the Night of the Hornéd God.

Deep in the forest primeval it slumbers. Invisible. Benign. Until you awaken it. Then it will make all your dreams come true. There's only one catch. Once aroused, it's always hungry. And it feeds on blood. Now, from the unfathomable depths, it spews its vile emissaries forth to drag an endless stream...