Sandra Staines: 22 books

'Take me to your leader.' the little green alien said I took out my magnifying glass I needed to have a good look But I'm afraid I singed his head 'Ouch!' he said 'You're awfully rude.' Said I 'I'm sorry, little green dude.' He stomped his feet and he waved his arms His cadenza was quite complete He...

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue contains a collection of over 200 short verses; some are romantic while others are funny, or just plain silly. Roses are red Violets are blue Around a ballroom I'd love to twirl Yes, I'm just an old-fashioned girl How sad that you have two left feet Perhaps a better suitor...

‘Fun Rhymes and Silly Lines’ is a collection of nonsense verse with fun sounding rhymes which older children can read on their own and parents can enjoy reading to their younger children. Trizzle, Tockle, Tick and Tan / Were very brave, to a man / Out into the deepest forest they did go / Seeking...

Fun Verse for Young Ones is a collection of fun poems which parents can read to their young children to encourage a love of language. Using humour and rhyme allows children to discover the vibrancy of the English language and shows them how playful language can be. Topics covered include counting,...

A kudu went into business with a pride of lions and a cheetah but he quit after a few months. He kudun't cope with all that lion and that cheetah. What do you call a vegetarian vampire bat? Dead. What did the steak say to the knife? It cuts me up the way you treat me. What do you get if you cross spinach with candy? Something kids hate but which they can't resist.

Exactly as it says on the cover this is a collection of 200 silly, corny, groan-out-loud riddles of the kind that kids just love. Indulge them, or yourself, and prepare for your ears to be assaulted by silly riddles. What kind of flower has a name that sounds like a person’s name? Daffodil (Daff...

‘If’ is a collection of nonsense verse and silly rhymes for parent to read to their tiny tots. It encourages children to use their imaginations to picture an alternate world where things are not as they are now. The word ‘If’ is the starting point for many a flight of fancy as well as the...

Do you remember the nursery rhymes you used to enjoy as a child? They have now been updated for the digital age. Please Note: Although this is not an 'adult content' book it is not intended for children, but for adults as it requires a certain level of sophistication to understand the humour. One, Two,...

This collection of groan-out-loud silly riddles will provide fun for the whole family. Kids will be able to work out most of the riddles by themselves but they might need a little help on others. This provides the perfect excuse for parents to read this book too.

Did you hear about the cat that had thirteen kittens? She was fined for littering. What is the definition of catlike? It is what a cat does when it goes on Facebook. What did the ram saw to the ewe when he proposed? Wool you marry me? Which is a cow's favourite city? Bullawayo. Why do cows love riding in elevators? They love the moozak.

Knock knock! Who's there? Simon. Simon who? Simon Aim. Simon Aim. Yeah! Wow, I could have a hit record with that. Knock knock! Who's there? Delaware. Delaware who? Delaware you've been missing him so Del's come to visit you. Knock knock! Who's there? Cod. Cod who? Cod you let me in please? Knock knock!...

Yo Mama got so tired of all the Yo Mama jokes making her look bad that she asked me to write some Yo Papa jokes to even out the score. Yo papa's so fat he works as a bra model. Yo papa's so stupid that he thinks square roots are what grow on diseased trees. Yo papa's such a criminal that all the other...

Yo papa is on a mission: he wants to be the star of as many joke books as yo mama is. Won't you help him out? Download yo papa's book and start chuckling right away. Contains 200 yo papa jokes.

Q: What did one yeti say to the other yeti? A: It's abominable that people think we don't exist. Q: What did one computer mouse say to the other computer mouse? A: I think we've clicked. Q: What happens if you cross a pear with a rectangle? A: Things get a little pear shaped.