A Satire of Airline Travel

Do you want to get your revenge on the airlines?

If you are like most people- you hate the airlines.  Now, for the first time in the history of civilian air travel, you can fight back.

Richard Snow's A Satire of Airline Travel points out nearly every single stupid thing the airlines have told you and make you do for the past 50 years.

He reminds us how we're not on the airplane for more than five minutes they're already talking about crashes. They tell you that in the case of an emergency and the plane is going into the side of a mountain when you jump down the chute  in the airplane and how woman should leave their purses and take off their shoes. Then we are told to be aware of the fact that in the event we are abandoning the airplane in mid-flight- there is a what looks like a cushion under the seat that can serve as a life preserver if you have to jump out when the airplane is about to crash into the side of a mountain or on fire. On it there is even a whistle  that can be used to summon for help if you are floating around in the middle of the Pacific Ocean clutching your life preserver. In the minds of the airline- this is absolutely most important set of facts and knowledge you need to know so that they will feel comfortable enough to allow the plane to take off. 

And for the record,  "The Captain" is not a commissioned officer of the armed forces of any country.  He works as an airline pilot for a civilian airline.  He's just  "The pilot" and he is charge of flying the airplane. He's not our leader.

Once you have taken off,  he starts explaining his flying procedures and his particular flying technique of which he cities he decided to fly over in order to somehow impress us that he knows how to adequately fly the airplane. You aren't require to think of what would be considered  a "comfortable cruising altitude" or how long it will take to reach that height. Then he has to come on the PA and ensure you that his utmost concern in his life is to ensure your comfort and security.

Then he starts with the weather- the never-ending love affair they have with the weather. Now it's time for him to be our tour guide as he points out cities we are flying over but can't see. He will tell you how his number one priority in life to get you to your destination on time- to the very minute- and if it is even one minute longer- he will say how he will take it personally that your trip was delayed even if just for minutes. Under no circumstances will you be allowed to be even one minute late due to any fault of his airline.

A Satire of Airline Travel  will remind you of all the dumb stuff the flight attendants do like clog up the isles with “service carts” instead of just walking back and forth to bring the drinks rather than from a cart in the middle of the isle. Or how when they tell us how the airline’s service and in-flight magazine is “award winning” they are frauds unless there really was a legitimate contest- and they won.

If it is an international flight they will be able to trick all the passengers by telling them the "duty free cart" is only open for a short time so they should act quick to buy something because it will close soon. Why can't it stay open during the entire flight when it is in the air? Why do they purposely create the tension that "it's only open for a short while" so you have to shop quickly.

If you always wanted to extract revenge from the airlines for the hoops they have made you jump through all these years-  reading A Satire of Airline Travel is the first step.  First take aim by arming yourself with the facts. Then give the book to someone else so this revolution can begin.