| Author: | Jamie Brazil | ISBN: | 9781940064246 |
| Publisher: | Windtree Press | Publication: | November 7, 2013 |
| Imprint: | Language: | English |
| Author: | Jamie Brazil |
| ISBN: | 9781940064246 |
| Publisher: | Windtree Press |
| Publication: | November 7, 2013 |
| Imprint: | |
| Language: | English |
So what if Toby Turtletaub is smart? His family is cursed. No Turtletaub has ever kept a job, or lived in a town, for more than a few weeks. By the time his dad moves the family to Burdock Falls, Toby can’t even remember the last ten schools he attended, but he can name all 118 atomic elements and their properties. So when he’s declared a science god by the entire school, it’s the first time in his life Toby hasn’t felt like a loser. Too bad by the time he returns home from school, his dad has already lost his job.
But Toby doesn’t want to move. Ever. Luckily, the know-it-all girl next door, Riley Cobb has an answer. Using Toby’s vast knowledge of science, Riley’s Electronic Pocket Encyclopedia, and piece of a black hole purchased online, they build a lunch box time machine to zap them centuries into the past where they can change the history of the Turtletaub family – or at least grab a fortune in pirate treasure. Unfortunately, the treasure they discover comes with a bloodthirsty Captain Kidd. And he’s a buccaneer with a bad case of gas who is determined to follow them home.
EXCERPT:
We heard the leaves rustle. Together we flopped onto the ground and stayed still like statues. The odor got worse as the thump of boots approached. We stifled gags by pushing our faces into the dirt. Thump, thump, thump, the pirates marched toward us. But that wasn’t the noise they made. They were cutting farts.
Huge farts. Rasty farts. Long, wet, sputtering farts. High-pitched squealy farts that went on and on and on. Every step they took was like a pump pushing the putrid farts out of them. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart. The line of pirates tromped and farted their way through the jungle, within inches of our hiding spot, leaving a path of withered leaves in their wake.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” I said in a hushed voice.
“I think I already did,” Toby replied.
So what if Toby Turtletaub is smart? His family is cursed. No Turtletaub has ever kept a job, or lived in a town, for more than a few weeks. By the time his dad moves the family to Burdock Falls, Toby can’t even remember the last ten schools he attended, but he can name all 118 atomic elements and their properties. So when he’s declared a science god by the entire school, it’s the first time in his life Toby hasn’t felt like a loser. Too bad by the time he returns home from school, his dad has already lost his job.
But Toby doesn’t want to move. Ever. Luckily, the know-it-all girl next door, Riley Cobb has an answer. Using Toby’s vast knowledge of science, Riley’s Electronic Pocket Encyclopedia, and piece of a black hole purchased online, they build a lunch box time machine to zap them centuries into the past where they can change the history of the Turtletaub family – or at least grab a fortune in pirate treasure. Unfortunately, the treasure they discover comes with a bloodthirsty Captain Kidd. And he’s a buccaneer with a bad case of gas who is determined to follow them home.
EXCERPT:
We heard the leaves rustle. Together we flopped onto the ground and stayed still like statues. The odor got worse as the thump of boots approached. We stifled gags by pushing our faces into the dirt. Thump, thump, thump, the pirates marched toward us. But that wasn’t the noise they made. They were cutting farts.
Huge farts. Rasty farts. Long, wet, sputtering farts. High-pitched squealy farts that went on and on and on. Every step they took was like a pump pushing the putrid farts out of them. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart. The line of pirates tromped and farted their way through the jungle, within inches of our hiding spot, leaving a path of withered leaves in their wake.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” I said in a hushed voice.
“I think I already did,” Toby replied.
